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Category: Submission
  1. Why do you think men should lead and women should follow?
  2. Why should men be the ones to show chivalry? Can’t a woman open a door for an elderly or disabled man without “violating” his manhood or her womanhood?
  3. Do you believe that women should obey their husbands UNCONDITIONALLY even if their husbands command them to break God's law(s)?
  4. I had been reading one of the articles about the man (father, in my case) being the head of the household. What are girls to do if their mothers are divorced or if the father is out of the picture for some other reason? (and there are no other positive male role modles). Had my mother stayed with my father, I would have grown up on welfare or in a worse situation (I'm not kidding) as he drove our family into the ground. How are we supposed to look at them as head's of the household when they were so destructive? I would have loved to have a positive male role model, but that's not possible for everyone. ~Liz



  1. Why do you think men should lead and women should follow?
    This idea is not ours. It is commanded by God Himself in Scripture, and the picture is one of humble, servant leadership. Christ gives the example first, “I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine. As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father: and I lay down my life for the sheep” (John 10:14,15). Leadership dies to self that others may live. Again, “He that is greatest among you shall be your servant” (Matthew 23:11). St. Paul tells us that “the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God” (I Cor. 11:3). He also writes, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (Eph. 5:22-24). The reader should note that Paul is simply reiterating the creation hierarchy here. Man isn’t at the top; God is. Christ is the head of the man. The man, imitating the role of Christ the Heavenly Bridegroom, is the head of the woman. The woman’s submission to her husband presents a beautiful picture of the Church’s submission to Christ. There is no escape from submission in the Bible – for men or women. Both are subject to Christ, Who was subject to God the Father during His earthly ministry (John 5:30; I Cor. 11:3). When men lead, following in the footsteps of Christ, they are painting a picture of Christ for the world. When women follow, they paint a picture of the Church for the world. Together, they paint a picture of the Heavenly Bridegroom and His Bride, both of whom are lifted up and exalted as “pure and spotless.” There is no degradation in this picture. There is no belittling of women or “setting them in their place” in this picture. There is wholeness and beauty. But when there is rebellion against God’s created order, the beauty vanishes and chaos ensues. Again, this idea didn’t originate with us. It’s all there in Scripture, from the creation of male and female in Genesis to the marriage supper of the Lamb in Revelation.
    Category: Submission
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  2. Why should men be the ones to show chivalry? Can’t a woman open a door for an elderly or disabled man without “violating” his manhood or her womanhood?
    No one on this site is arguing that a woman should stand idly by while an elderly man is struggling with a door or a cripple is trying to get onto a bus. Our whole view, in a nutshell, is that the strong sacrifices for the weak and that the first shall be last. Men, in general, are stronger, and, as women and Christians, we believe their strength should emulate that of Christ. Christ used His strength to serve; not to oppress or belittle. Common courtesy has its greatest ally in biblical Christianity. In situations where the woman is the stronger, she can and should “lay down her life” and put others first. So women can and should take heavy packages from elderly women and hold open the door for the man with a cane. This is part and parcel of the teachings of Scripture. But Scripture also teaches that men have a special protective role (again, imitating the Heavenly Bridegroom) in caring for the Bride. Illustrating this on a daily basis makes a beautiful picture for the world to see.
    Category: Submission
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  3. Do you believe that women should obey their husbands UNCONDITIONALLY even if their husbands command them to break God's law(s)?
    God does not call anyone (male or female) to unconditionally obey the laws of man. Romans 13 has been abused to "prove" that Christians must submit to those in authority over them even when they are commanded to break God's law. But to argue this, we'd have to throw out other passages of Scripture entirely or just try to explain them away. We think R.C. Sproul, Jr., sums it up best: An account in Acts gives us wisdom on this issue. Remember that is chapter 3 Peter has healed a lame man who had been seeking alms outside the temple. This was not done in a corner. Peter then delivers his second sermon, and Peter and John are arrested under duress from the Sanhedrin. Knowing they can't really hurt them, for too many had witnessed the miracle, the Sanhedrin instead commanded the two to preach no more in the name of Jesus. The response of Peter and John is familiar to us: "Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God, you decide" (Acts 4:19). They flatly refused to obey the Sanhedrin; God had commanded them to preach, and so they would. The principle that the church has derived from this event is rather simple on its face--we are to obey all authorities over us unless or until they forbid us to do that which God commands. Mr. Sproul further reminds his readers of the faithfulness of Daniel and his three companions when they lived under the rule of a pagan empire. While they conducted themselves blamelessly and obeyed their king in every way they could, they did not break God's laws in order to obey commands contrary to them. They were willing to go to their deaths rather than break God's commandments. Now, to apply this to a more personal situation of a wife married to an unbeliever or any man who commands her to disobey God, we can't just come out with a long list of things that are worth laying down the gauntlet over. It is important to seek Wisdom from God's Word and to live with humility and charity even in the midst of a difficult situation. The wife of the unbeliever is to have a winsome, gentle spirit -- not start fights over every last thing. We need to know God's Word so well and hide it in our hearts so earnestly that the Holy Spirit can immediately bring it to our minds when we are given what might be a questionable command. It is easy to say "no" when the command is something extreme, like "Go prostitute yourself." It becomes harder when a command isn't so blatantly evil (e.g. "I want you to wear this mini skirt.") but still pricks the conscience. To use an old cliche', it is better not to major in the minors. In every instance where a woman can in good conscience obey her husband, her quiet, patient demeanor can do more to "win her husband without a word" than half an hour of righteous indignation ever could. Sarah, who is given as our model, obeyed Abraham even when he foolishly (and sinfully) told her to pretend she was his sister. God protected Sarah, and He can certainly protect the rest of the women under His care. But I think it is safe to assume that if Abraham had said, "Go into that man's tent and sleep with him," she would have said, "I must obey God rather than man." We need wisdom to judge between situations that do not directly violate God's commands and situations where we would put our souls (and perhaps our bodies) in jeopardy because of a command to transgress God's Word.
    Category: Submission
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  4. I had been reading one of the articles about the man (father, in my case) being the head of the household. What are girls to do if their mothers are divorced or if the father is out of the picture for some other reason? (and there are no other positive male role modles). Had my mother stayed with my father, I would have grown up on welfare or in a worse situation (I'm not kidding) as he drove our family into the ground. How are we supposed to look at them as head's of the household when they were so destructive? I would have loved to have a positive male role model, but that's not possible for everyone. ~Liz
    Dear Liz,

    Psalm 68:5 says, "A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation." The fatherless and the widow are mentioned so many times in Scripture that it is simply overwhelming. God knows that earthly fathers often abandon their wives and children and treat them with abuse or contempt. And God promises to take up their cause and defend them. He also commands His Church to protect and defend the widow, the orphan, and the "stranger." Sadly, the Church is sorely neglecting its role as protector of those whose earthly fathers or husbands have abandoned or abused them. And God will judge the Church for this neglect. If you just click over to www.gospelcom.net/bible, you can run a search on the words "fatherless," "widow," and "stranger," and I think you will comforted by God's incredible care for those whose earthly providers have failed them.

    Women who do not have godly men to look up to in their own families need to seek out the shelter and guidance of a godly church body that upholds biblical roles and believes in supporting the fatherless and the widow. And there are churches that do this! St. Peter Presbyterian in Bristol, Tennessee, for example, has put a roof over the head of a mother and four children who were abandoned. They provide for her needs so that she can stay at home with her children and not have to get out and fend for herself. This is "true religion," just as it says in the book of James. Douglas Phillips of www.visionforum.com also has a CD out with a message about providing for the fatherless and the widow, and his church practices what he preaches.

    If you cannot find godly, fatherly mentors immediately in your area, seek them out by reading books written by men who honor women and desire to serve them in a Christlike manner. I'd recommend reading "Her Hand in Marriage" by Douglas Wilson and listening to the aforementioned Doug Phillips CD. Checking into those resources will lead you to others.

    Most of all, know that God cares for you and has you in His eye. It is His promise! If there is a way we can direct you to further help, please do not hesitate to let us know. It is our desire at LAF to see the Church fulfill its calling to protect those whose earthly fathers or husbands have abandoned them or treated them shamefully. May God bless you as you seek godly earthly guidance.

    In Christ,
    Mrs. Jennie Chancey

    Category: Submission
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