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| Viewing Page 1 of 1 (Total Posts: 2) |
| Author | Comment |
Elizabeth
Feb 24, 03 - 4:24 PM |
A step backwards
I don't know how many of you are on meds for these stupid stupid panic attacks, but last Nov. we found out that my stupid attcks were just a little present that came along with the dreaded anxiety disorder. I was in pretty bad shape this fall. I didnt want to leave the house, the littlest thing would send me into another panic attack, I constantly worried about everything, and I found it extremily hard to be a kid. I was the only 16 yr old out of all my friends that constantly worried about death, terriost, wars, fires, everything and anything you can think of. I would come up with these stories in my head. Like if some one was late, I would get this idea that they had been mugged and that they were lying unconscience in a parking lot somewhere. This crazy idea bcame this huge story in my had that built up and built up and I would convince myself that is was reality. As stupid as I knew these assumptions sounded, I could not chase them out of my mind. Thats rigth, you guessed it, on would come a panic attack. my friends never quite understood. I got the feeling that they thought all of this was for attention. I excepted that they would never understand and kept these feeling to myself. I though about succide once, I was really bad. I had cried so much that I had made myself sick, an over something so silly. An article for journalism! See thats what would happen. Something that the normal mind would ignore, I would obsess over. I couldn't help it. and It wasnt until not to long ago that I realized that I couldnt help it. It's chemical, which may be the same case with many of you. So they put me on meds. 1 pill of welbrution, 1 pill of lexipro, and 1 of adderall every morning for the rest of my life. That scared me! I refused to believe that I needed them. even though they really really helped me. I went 3 months without a panic attck, 3 months with out a stupid story building up in my head. But I still didnt believe that I truely needed the medicine. So I stoped taking it. Once every few days, and then, I quit it all together. Which brings us to now. I realized the effects, I do need the medicine. It is chemical and I can't go on without. It is scary to think about taking it for the rest of my life, but it is even scarier thkning about living the way I was and am as of the moment for the rest of my life. It will take a good week or two for the meds to get back into my system. But now I can look at it as a sickness, such as kedney stones, or stomach problems. i cant help that I have to take it, and if it makes me better, than duh... take it! So, I learned the hard way. My pride steped in and I took and big step backwards on this road to recovery. No more trying to be "normal" I mean who decides that anyways! So if any of you are on meds or think that you may should be, dont be too proud like I was. The way I look at it is... You can let yourpride step in and be like this for the rest of yoru life, or you can admit that it is an illness and do something about it. God Bless! Elizabeth |
ruiz healy
Jan 24th, 2006 - 7:35 AM |
backwards in guerrero state
me da pena por slagado macedoni los gatilleros que mencionan viven en taluminio pliego de lassiete esquinas en acapulco y en madereria campeche y sus amplias sucursales ,este salgado macedonio es un tiro tiranico idiota y peor amante del poder absoluto un bruto en la extension d ela palabra a las hijas las tiene de lenonas en la terminal maritima a precio de dolar escucheme todas las mañanas en la970 de am 
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