I m confused, my husband and I dated for 5yrs, then got married. After marriage we lived with his parents for 3 years (living with his parents was his idea, and cultural &.but yes, a big mistake). I had a tough time living with his parents, for several reasons. I spoke to my husband on several occasions to move out and live on our own. But he always had an excuse not to move out, or would postpone the date, without consulting directly to me. He didn t feel like his parents were hard to live with, nor did he understand how cunning his mother could be. We started arguing constantly, on pity stuff, that never made sense, I always felt neglected, alone, and frustrated, and he seemed like he didn t care. I had less hope for our marriage to work out at his parent s house after he got a DUI. He had a drinking problem, that he promised he controlled by quieting drinking. One of many reasons, I wanted to move out, was because his dad was an alcoholic and made moon shine and home. After 3 years, living with my in laws I was getting sick, depressed, angry , my husband and I lived like strangers, we lost our communication ability and I cried almost every day after the 1 -2 second month of our marriage. But still continued to live with his parents, keeping the hope one day we will move out, sooner than later.
One night after my grandpa s funeral I came home and needed someone to talk to, for whatever reason we started arguing. That night, when he went into the shower I left and spend the night in my car. Next morning, after he went to work I got my sisters big truck and packed all my necessary material and moved out. Before I left my mother in law said I m glad you re leaving, don t ever come back.  I became the better person and ignored her and just left, never to look back.
I was living on my own, and we started slowly talking, but still arguing on pity issues, still nothing was getting resolved. I felt his parents / family were still encouraging him to divorce me. However, I still kept working things out. He got accepted in a pharmacy program in Florida and we started making plans for Florida. He attended my sister co - ed baby shower with me, and told me my dad apparently called him a crook. My dad and my husband have a language barrier, so I told him he needs to talk to my dad regarding his issues, which he never did. On my sister wedding, I was one of the brides mate, with him escorting me down the aisle, however when I called him 45 min. prior to the wedding he said he wasn t coming, his excuse was his parents needed him irrigating. I was devastated, I had to walk down the aisle by myself, in the same church my husband and I got married in, I cried throughout the entire wedding, all my pics looked horrible, my family all knew he was coming and kept on asking me regarding the absence of my husband, he humiliated me infront of the entire family. My I say, a week and half prior to the wedding, I gave him the option to either attend the wedding with me or not, regardless of his decision I just need to be ready for the wedding. And he promised me he will be there. 6 days prior to the wedding, we went shopping for his suits for the wedding, we bought two suits, one for the ceremony and the other for the reception, I spend over $500. A day prior to the wedding he came to my house and tried on his suits, kissed me goodbye and said he will see me tomorrow around 10ish.
On the day of my birthday his bff served me the divorce papers at work &.. Another devastating moment. A week later he moved to Florida, for school. I attended his white coat ceremony in Florida, since I already booked my seat. I also wanted to see if he really wanted the divorce or was it his family. When I got to Florida, he was happy to see me, and we had a great time, he expressed he loved me and agreed to cancel the divorce.
But over a month later he still hasn t change the status of the divorce, however wants me to move to Florida. We still keep on arguing, and one of our major issues is our anger toward each another. He gets me very frustrated because he thinks it s all my fault and I shouldn t be so angry. He thinks I always fight, have all the flaws, while he has not issues.
I m so confused on what I need to do! Should I just sign the divorce and call it over, or still try to work it out some way. When making the decision I always keep in mind, we really never had a marriage after we got married, and when dating we never fought he was the prefect guy. His parents didn t come in the picture tell after we got married. While dating we were the perfect couple, always supporting each another, loving and caring. What do I do???????????

No one can tell you what to do...that is something you will have to decide for yourself. But we can tell you what we may do if we were in your shoes. I see a boy who calls himself a man. I see someone who drops everything...even an important wedding to run home when called by his family(someone who does not know what commitment or responsibility is).

When someone decides to become husband or wife, they can still have strong family ties with their own family but should always put there partners true needs first when it comes to important issues. They should also help their wife or husband bond with their own family and feel like part of their family...not an outcast.

This is all called growing up.....And for now it looks as if you are trying to have a relationship with a boy who knows nothing about, real love, maturity, trust, responsibility, etc....I can't tell you what to do, but if I were in that situation I would either back off for a while or end it until the "Boy" decides to become a "Man."

If things keep going the way they are then ask yourself: Where will he be when you need him most?...not comforting you at another funeral, not even at the hospital when you are having a child, not caring if you have to go out to another car to sleep and console yourself....You deserve so much better than what you have told us he has done (or may do)...But it is now up to you to decide how to deal with these facts you have given us...Please, read your own words...listen to the sadness in your posting. YOU ARE IMPORTANT TOO! Give some of your own love to yourself as well.

Susan

sounds like how my husband used to be, excuses and excuses, his family i always felt never liked me or even tried to, even when i tried so hard. some people make it work by me and him against the world even though people dont support us but deep down inside we would want to work it out with everyone esp family.

it is definitely not easy to do but so easy to say you can do it and just end it and give the time and energy for yourself because its the best.

everyday will be a struggle. and it feel like you will be so alone, thats how i feel but hey, the loneliness is just another thing you will get used to. you will survive tell yourself you will survive. when you think of going back, make this note to yourself, write it down, "WHAT IVE DONE" you will realize all the things you did and going back to him will not even be worth it.

im trying too, stuggling and i feel like im going out of my mind, one day at a time...