Strong spirit, what would be the most unbearable? uprooting yourself, children and pets or staying in the same situation?
Once we make a plan and a decision we become 'superwomen' and the adrenalin keeps us going.
Im thinking he aint going anywhere soon and im thinking it is becoming unbearable for you to live with, maybe it is time to make your move?
You have given so much encouragement to others, strength and insight. You ARE strong, YOU can make the changes. He isnt going to.
Do not leave the kids behind. You could be brought up on abandonment and lose them for good. I am similar to you in that I've been married a long time and would prefer to keep the kids in their home. That would be in a perfect world though. And this is not a perfect world. I cannot afford our marital home and am actually excited about the prospect a starting fresh...having MY own place with NO bad memories of HIM. Surprisingly, when I mentioned moving to my 9 year old, she was excited and wanted to go house hunting with me. Have you talked to your kids? Do they know what's going on between and your husband? I've learned that kids are resilient. Talk to them and see what they think. If they have any idea of the pain you're experiencing, they might be okay with it. If they aren't okay with it, at least it would give them a chance to wrap their minds around the possibility of moving. The only thing my daughter was concerned about was that she stay in the same school with her friends...that's what was important to her....relationships...not things.
Good luck. You ARE stronger than you give yourself credit for. BTW...it's okay to lose it every so often..I think it's normal. What person in their right mind wouldn't? Keep us posted.