I just read something that reminded me of the ex, of what he would say, about me/ us.
My ex husband was a narcissistic psychopath. At his core he is pure evil. If he could have killed me he would have & it would have happened if he had stayed, no doubt.
I know that he has to kill people in his mind, the love, good feelings, that he has a huge superiority complex. I guess I feel I am literally rebuilding my life from scratch because of him & what he did to me & to my life.
I felt overcome a bit ago because I know that he could take what was & wipe it out, kill it off with the flip of a switch.
I just can't help but think about God & what proverbs said about those that are evil.
I loved him & I believe he loved me, but he is so very preverse, so completely evil in his core that he could never allow what we had to live.
If I was still with him there's no doubt I would be dead eventually. The social worker I saw, my family, those that knew me & the situation were all very concerned.
I guess I cannot understand the complete vastness of a heart & love of some that are that demented.
I am glad I am not like that. I felt my breath almost leave me because I think he could take what we had & kill it off in his words, etc. He makes himself out like some hero, some wonderful soul that is always & I mean ALWAYS the victim.
I keep praying for healing. I feel so guarded anymore & the damage my ex did to me is irreprehensible. I know there is a God of Justice & I do believe this with all my heart & soul.
There will come a time when all those that have harmed to this degree, will face their MAKER.
What got to me was something I read.. & it described a psychopath telling about an ex love (spouse) & describing all the evil things making it out to be that it was somehow that person not themselves.. ie, killing off any attachment & love in their mind for that person.. to me? it is PURE EVIL. which my ex was. I loved him, but he is a very sick human being & I came to see he would not change.
I guess I believe too that if he could harm me still, from afar he would. I think he thinks he is a very powerful soul, his own ego is enormous & quite dangerous.
just needing to vent...
Thanks.