My husband and I have been married for 18 years. He says that I abandoned him because I was busy and consumed with the job of being a stay at home mom for the past 10 years and after having triplet sons 7 years ago. Yes, I was tired, didn't want to go out much. I also was doing the majority of raising our children. He has always been a good provider and I am very blessed to have been able to stay home with our children. He began a friendship with a lady at work. He is 42, she is 31. She has two daughters ages 9 and 1. It started out just with him making random comments about her eyes and it being her birthday (while he was out to dinner with me). She started inviting our family to their home for her daughter's birthday parties. To make a long story short, he denied anything more than friendship and he is still saying that. However, he wasn't acting like my husband. I could tell that he was just existing in our family, not truly in love it seemed. Being intimate with him was even different because it seemed like he wanted to be pleasured, not make me happy at all. We had been talking about seperating because I felt like I was trying to breathe life into a dead person the past two years. Emotionally, it was more than I could take. I just felt something wasn't right. As it turns out, she and her husband were also having problems. When my husband found out they were seperating, he filed for a divorce from me. Now we are living in the same home with our four beautiful children and he began to leave every night after the kids were in bed and stay at her home all night. At first, I was blown away. I couldn't believe it. It seems like the more I press him about him the more he wants to do it. He says that the reason he wanted to leave is that he is tired of being accused of something with her. I just can't believe it. He said he can't stay in our home and sleep in a bedroom by himself that is why he goes at night. I still love him after all of his lies and betrayal. I would still like to work things out. I can't figure out how I can feel that way, but I do. Should I just let him go?
I have known women whose marriages have come through affairs wonderfully-others not so much. Will he consider counseling? Mine said NO WAY for years. Are you receiving counseling? The counselor can help you work through your turmoil. Hoping the best for you and your children.
He has already left you psychologically with what he is doing. Do you have a minister or priest you can talk with & pray with about this?
It would bother me if husband was sleeping with another woman & wanted any intimacy with me, as it would not longer be safe (chance of diseases).
Not sure how you are holding up through all of this but you have every right to be upset.
I agree with Becky's advice, & I wouldn't do anything drastic but start talking & seeking supports & advice so your life has some order to it again. That's my suggestion!