It has been 3 years since my ex married the OW (the week after our divorce went through). I do Facebook with only fairly close friends (about 40 not 1000 like some folk). There are now 2 people who were my friends but they have now befriended the OW; it makes me want to defriend them. There are also a few others who have asked me to be friends who are on her friend's list and I have not accepted (I did not even know they knew her). Is this a silly attitude?

I deleted my FB page because people I thought were friend were using there friendship with me to tell ex every detail of my life.
To me FB is just gossip site. Heck I loved it LOL but I wasn't letting them ruin me. I was easier for me to just delete it then it was to weed out the bad friends. I defriended quite a few people before I just deleted the whole thing all together. IU got tired of everyone asking me questions about the divorce and the reason I was leaving and everything else.

You have bigger and better things to do than worry about Face book. Ignore it ALL my friend. Keep your 40. Nice, believable number. Forget about this. It is not an important part of your life. Do not give out ANY info that you think would hurt you. Better yet, delete, delete.

This is a slap in the face

I said it was a dumb question. You don't have to be a jerk. My ex left me after 28 years of marriage so I get what you are going through. I am left with weirdness over our mutual friends who claimed to understand what he did to me, yet they now choose to be facebook friends with the OW who destroyed our marriage (not that he wasn't responsible also). I would understand if they were talking to him (my ex) but these are ladies who were wives of our couple friends, now talking to her. It hurts me. I sure as heck don't need your sarcasm.

My question would be why a man is posting on women's chat forum (Larry)???

As to posting @ facebook, maybe give those that you want to keep as contacts a different email address that you create (new one) then not use the account.
You don't have to loose contact with those you want to talk with but maybe do it by email.
I don't have a facebook account & don't want one. They are so easily accessible by a person's name.
It is helpful in healing to remove from any contact that is not necessary.
I don't think your question is a dumb one.
You're just asking for suggestions of how to deal with it.

I understand how you feel Sherrylmd. I started on this forum around the same time you did and The same thing happened to me. Friends and some of his relatives did the same thing...They tell you how awful he was to do this and how they can't believe he could do this to someone as nice as you and then POW! They drift off to this new woman as if it were nothing new. That is just life Sherry. It goes on and if the affair has nothing to do with their personal life then they move on to. I did find out who my real friends are this way and I found I had people who cared more for me than I ever knew. I think when the storms come and True friends stand out from the weeds this allows you a much richer life and insight on your friendships. It does hurt when the weaker friendships just go with the flow of life, but then you can decide if you want to have these people around as casual friendships or if you just want someone stronger and more supportive as friends. It is your life and you get to choose who you leave out and who you keep in. I walked away from some of those friends because I wanted something better than that for myself. You really don't know who your true friends are until you go through something that tests their amount of friendship.

Susan

I kinda think Larry was just saying that this was a betrayal on their part; and that no, it is not a silly attitude. It is understandable for you to feel this way.
(One thing I have learned thru my divorce, is that those with the great people skills are not always good people and vice versa).
But I also realize that maybe I am just naive.

Yeah, I agree with Susan and Nicole...the true test of a friendship is who stands by you and who cuts you loose. People that my ex and I were friends with for over 20 years have now cut us both loose - and it is because of the OW and all the lies she told, about me, about him, about how the two of them "got together"...that whole relationship is based on a series of lies, betrayals and manipulations. It's doomed.