Deirdre, My ex is not married to the OW(as far as I know), but they live together as if they are. She calls herself the boys' Stepmother. My ex does everything quick, he loves that instant gratification, can't wait for anything. He threw her right into his life while it was still supposed to be our life, he did not have the respect to leave the marriage first after 20 yrs. He bought things, built things and jumped right into doing whatever he could to bring his life right back up to where we were in life. He has to have it all and now. He is even trying to take what I got in the divorce as well. His best friend even told me..."Susan, he won't be happy to he gets it all back." Others see what he is like...BUT the thing I want to tell you is even though it hurt and he did not think twice about how I felt through it all....IT"S OVER, it was like getting a giant dose of pain all at once instead of in slow amounts so The quicker he did it all to me, made it all the quicker in which it was over and done with. That's the best part about it.

Susan

I can relate. Ex hurt me so badly & so many times that when he left for last time I KNEW I was DONE.
So yes, the IMMENSE pain & stupidity that is obvious also can help in getting over them. I most certainly do not want ex back.
He is the same way, replaces a person almost before he could breath from last relationship or marriage.
He's on a roll with both.. never ever stops to take time out. He's incapable of being alone & self reflection.
Susan, what you say as to having it all dished out to deal with makes sense. It is utter turmoil how they leave us in these circumstances as we describe, at the same time, it is FINAL. yep.

My ex lives with OW. She has two kids and she thinks she is my children's stepmom and has the boys calling her that and calling her children their stepsisters. UGH If he would only sign the divorce papers and just move on my life would be so much easier. I have learned to take advantage of the fact that I am his wife legally. I throw it in his face all the time. He'll say something stupid about his relationship with OW and my reply is " I'm still your wife jackass" He gets ****** and hangs up. He keeps telling everyone that it is me refusing to sign papers. Yet my lawyer is the one who send HIM the papers. He lives on lies and denial.

He lives on lies and denial? We aren't married to the same Jackass, are we?

Could be...the way my ex lies who knows He may have several wives lol

LOL Lisa!! Yeah, the BS never ends with him. And now he's not even talking to me. I haven't spoken a word to him for over two weeks! His sister was visiting from out of state at the start of last month, and it was just wonderful to see her - we have always been close (which, of course the OW resents the everlasting crap out of that relationship!), and I was so peaceful and full of love by the time she went home that I had to share a little of it with him. So..I called him up and said how wonderful it had been to see her and talk to her, and spend time together, and that I hoped he would be able to get down to visit her sometime this summer like he's been trying to do for years. I kept it all light, and happy, and warm.

Honestly, I have no friggin idea if I broke him, or what! LOL!