I was an impressionable naive 20 YO when I met my husband. Became pregnant and got discharged from the Army. Came to rural America and suffered culture shock from loss of city life (think New York or Boston). I learned to adapt since I married the guy. Became friends and learned to love the guy. Had a rough first three years adjusting. He started several businesses while I started on my college degree. I had a choice of nursing or business. I settled for business since he needed an accountant. Baby is now 15 YO smart-mouth teenager (typical). We had this big plan to create a home on wheels and travel all 49 states (including Alaska). Two years ago he came home with a black eye. Found out it was a woman's husband whom punched him. They were caught in the act before full intercourse could happen. He beg and pleaded with me to forgive him. After a week of soul-searching, I felt he should be given a second chance. Turns out this was a fruitless endeavor. This past tax season while I'm working 10 to god-awful 14 hours a day, he was cheating on me with some nitwit my age! He says that I don't really need him emotionally. She fulfills this void. I just wanted to smack him on the side of his head. Instead I bit my tongue, count for gods sake sheep in my head and just told him to get the f**k out of my house. Next day, I found out he is being investigated in a criminal case. So, I took my 15 YO for a road trip to the Grand Canyon (one item in my bucket list). It took 33 hours driving straight there from the east coast. That was how angry I was. The next week, I tested for STDs (came back negative thank God). I moved out and enrolled my 15 YO in a new school. It was not easy. My child has a lot of anger issues to work through. Me too. I've cashed some of my IRA to hire an attorney to divorce this loser. Life is not perfect. Neither am I. I look forward to the day when my divorce is final. In the meantime, my 15 YO drags my butt out at 4 a.m. to run. He runs, I walk. I think our next road trip will be Yellowstone before the big caldera blows. This time I'll take the plane. My motto is life is too short to be miserable.

Cassiopea,
Actually I enjoyed reading your post but I suspect there is more to all of this (grief & loss stuff).
LOL that your 15 y.o. drags you out to run at 4 a.m.
Well, sounds like you are now Living Life & not experiencing someone else's 2 y.o. behavior (ex).
It does help to be as busy as possible & ultimately not let the loss itself turn one upside down. When they choose to, "opt out," of marriage via having sex with whomever & treat us like dirt.. well waste of time. Again, your story is inspiring.
God Bless.

It sounds like you're getting a chance at a much happier life. No one deserves to be lied to and cheated on. Good for you for taking control.

-Mary
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