I'm sorry that you're in the situation you're in. I held it together for as long as I could. I actually caught him cheating one time with another guy, but I still stuck it out for another 5 years. I was like you. I cried when everyone was asleep or I was alone.
My daughter will be 13 in one week. So for me to have a frank conversation on what a monster her dad was is out of the question. So she cannot reason why I cheated...she can only see that I did cheat. I hold out hope though that when she is older and in a loving relationship herself, that she can see the light and forgive me.
Even though I can't stand to be around my ex anymore, we do get along for the kids. So, I can get the kids whenever and for however long I want. The last 3 weekends she has been with me all weekend. I told her that I will come and get her whenever she wants me too when I move. Nothing short of me staying will make her happy.
My BF would understand if I chose to stay. But financially, after June of next year, I will no longer be able of afford where I am living. I have an older daughter who's father passed away. Her benefits have been helping out and makes it so we are able to live on our own. My job alone will not cover us with having to pay him child support. So moving is really the only option I have and I have also explained this to her.
I just hope that once she sees that I'm texting her or calling her when she isn't around and me coming to get her when she asks to come visit that it will put her mind at ease. Two hours isn't bad...my BF and I have been doing it now for 2 plus years.
"My now ex has played my two children, with whom I raised pretty much single handidly. I wasn't allowed to take them with me when I moved out. Over his dead body was he going to pay me child support.""
In some states, you may be able to modify your custody arrangement if you want to. Unfortunately for him, it's a judge who determines whether or not someone pays child support, and not your ex.
The courts tend to frown upon people who try to damage a parent's relationship with their children. I'd talk to an attorney, because your situation seems very unfair.
