She is all those things and probably more. tell your ex to keep his woman under control and to keep out of your life, your ex is her problem now, she has no business running to you trying to get you involved. Tell them to sort their own mess out and leave you well alone.

I agree with the others...I would use the "no contact rule" with this other woman. As far as why she is doing what she does...that's easy. These women are so insecure and need to feel "they have to know". I never made contact with the other woman when she was having an affair with my ex...but I know she called my home all the time on unknown numbers and would hang up like a 15 or 16 year old. She did drivebys to my home to check on the ex. She also came on this forum once to spy on me...got caught, but I know my ex was in on that one with her as well. Why do cheaters cheat? Because they are so insecure and needy. This other woman is now living with my ex and has for sometime, but I don't feel the least bit tempted to know about her. All I have to know is how she and my ex destroyed our family and that is enough to know I don't need to bother with someone like this in my life or on my mind. She also left a young husband behind in the dark so I know enough to not even put her in the same league as myself and the people I love and allow in my life. She is not all at fault...She ended up with a cheater as well(my ex) but I deal with him in a business like way...the job of raising our boys. Choose who you allow into your life and then choose how they fit into your life...a friend, a close friend, a loved one etc...Keep the people who would poison your life out by ignoring what they do and distancing your thoughts or cares from them...If you have to have someone in your life for reasons...like my ex having to help me raise the boys...then set boundaries for how you will deal with each other and don't cross lines. This works good for me. It took time to realize this and make myself do it but, now I can say... my ex's girlfriend is neutral to my life...what she does, who she is, how she lives means nothing to me. The only thing that would change this is if she ever did anything to hurt my boys in any way...Then the mother lion in me would rip right into her little world...but that has not happened so to me..."if she exists or not" doesn't keep me awake at nights or haunts my thoughts during the day...let them go on their little rants or raves, but like someone else stated here...Keep their problems in their own home with our exes...they wanted these men and now they have them...that's how I see it and I am blessed to be away from all that negativity now.

Susan

Thank you all for your replies to this. This woman, quite frankly, in my opinion, is absolutely sack-of-hammers. Even people I know who have met her for a few moments say that she "looks like she's ready to snap any moment", which is terrifying because ex leaves her in charge at home and abdicates all his responsibilities into the bottle of Vicodin on a regular basis now....