I know in the past I loved Christmas. Well, not this year. I am actually dreading it. But, I will get through it. I am expecting it be painful and sad but, only because it will be my first since our separation in July. I just tell myself next year will be better!! I am trying to be realistic about this year and positive about next year.
I know all situations are different and we are all in different stages of healing. What I know will kill me is when my kids go with Jerk. However, I have decided I will be proactive in minimizing my loneliness. I have purchased a couple of movies and new scrapbooking items and I'm planning some things that I will enjoy doing. I have decided that I have given Jerk enough of my life-he won't ruin one more day. I'm praying for peace for all of us during this season.
It's been long enough I know I don't want EX back, (never did this time!that's a positive!), but the whole year was so overwhelming as he left me with more to deal with than I have ever in my life had to deal with at one time & so fast. he could have cared less.
HOWEVER, my family has reminded me often of how I have come so far in all of this.. which helps..
He turned my life upside down then left.
YET I feel happy inside still, full of love, joy, peace, etc.. I guess I just need reminders as this post is, of ideas, to keep pushing ahead, to celebrate LIFE. I will decorate this year.. now I am inspired. I wasn't going to, really did not care one bit. But I think now I will. & too, I will do a scrapbook page also. another good idea.
I love yanking off the $1 or $5 donation sheets at the grocery store to give $ to the needy..
Maybe I will gather things to give to rescue mission & then make a trip there before Christmas.
To be honest I have never been happier in my life, despite all of this, as I did have the man I wanted in my life, that I prayed for, & God Just Keeps Blessing my life. I love the ideas & reminders though & sharing, it is so healing.
Think I will pull out Christmas music.
Ladies, I wasn't gonna do christmas here at home this year.. but maybe now I will. I'm still ok, still happy & guess I can celebrate too. just needed the nudging to do it.
God Bless & Happy Holidays!
@JLVR - I'm glad my post helped. Please feel free to cut and paste it to anyone you know. Thanks for the kind words, and I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Stay strong!
Yes it did help.
In fact I reflect on what you said the last # of days.
I'm teared up thinking about it.
Not to melodrama, but that yes, the ideas & suggestions are always uplifting & helpful.
I am thankful to God For what I do have & inspite of all it is much.
My spirit has never been so filled up & my ex could not take that from me.
God Brought me all my hearts desire in my lifetime, even in the abuse & loss which is greater than ever before, I am still richer than I have ever been!
Sometimes things work out this way I believe.
God Is our Savior!
Thank you for the reminders of ways to bring joy into our lives. There's always much to be greatful for.
My spirit is on fire for JESUS CHRIST & celebrating Christmas in little ways, giving, rejoicing, & yes what mention, literal ways to bring smiles to our lives & to others... we must press on!
I am eternally greatful even for my now ex, I still love the man & had all I could ever have imagined & more. He left, but that does not take away the love in my heart which is connected to HIM (JESUS ) & to others. God Is Love & Love thus is!
Anyways.. lol ...
you bet, I think about what you wrote daily & am inspired! It is that love & joy in our hearts, not ever giving up on love & God. Celebrating Christmas.
I had to write this again to you, that you know, yes it made a difference! Today I am finishing up cards & making soup.
I ask continued protection from God as to what HE WANTS For me. It's not easy but as long as our hearts are alive with HIM, we live on.
God Bless you, Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!
Mary, how fun, THANK YOU for posting this.
I am going to copy/paste & print if that's ok.
I needed this. ESP to celebrate myself. In fact that is what is missing in part.
When I was single, before I married, I had many rituals as to my own little world. I would often have a big meal on a holiday for myself regardless of who I spent it with, even if on different day..but I made sure to plan things for me.
I have not decorated this year, for Christmas & hadn't even thought about it really..
It's been over yr since ex left. The whole of the year was spent on taking care of business...
business he stuck with me/ bills he left all to me, etc ...(all of them!!!!!!!!!!!!)
SO YES, CELEBRATE. THANK YOU For the reminder.
I've been single, married but never divorced, it's like a mindset I am adjusting to & I guess I forgot to even think about me as to CHRISTMASS & all that & I REALLY needed to hear to let comments etc roll off shoulders, that's not easy.
I think too that the divorce is not just something we have to grieve but all of the family/meaning relatives too. I think there are many emotions involved for them as well. Thank you for the reminder to let things go as to emotions /being sensitive.
Maybe I will plan my Christmas & New Year..
I have plans /but I mean for me.. my own little parties/plans.
I had this so downpact as a single person, my goodness it is SO HARD wearing a new hat AGAIN, I wasn't even married that long before he bolted for good...
AGAIN THANK YOU.
I really needed to read your post.