Oh, Alone, I feel for you. I have said a prayer for you and your family.

You said so much in your post. You said you're at a point where you would almost welcome him being gone. You also said you aren't sure that you can trust what he said. I understand that fight between your head and your heart. Sometimes we have to wait for our hearts to get to the point where you have gotten, and then we can begin to let go and heal.

I don't believe he has been a friend through all of this. I believe he has comforted you for his own selfish needs-to releive is own guilt. When my stbx left he wanted to hold me and comfort me. I told him he lost the right to EVER touch me again. I know he was surprised at my strength. Your husband should feel guilty. The vows he made were to you. He has been disrespectful and put you through so much.

Nobody can tell you what you should do...you have to live with your decisions. I believe you have fought hard for this marriage and that you will be able to sleep well knowing you gave it all you had. I also believe you can feel content with a choice to let him go. You deserve better than this selfish man.

I pray for you Alone. I pray that your marriage works for good.


I too after 30 years of marriage, blindsided, my soon ex betrayed me. He found his high school sweetheart online and rekindled their relationship. The thing is that I can not accept to still be married with him because it goes against my moral values. I believe that he cheated and will always be a cheater. I want peace. I do not want to live with him now that I can no longer trust him. It is not easy for this decision I made but God is my STRENGTH.

I will pray for you & my heart goes out to you.
What is it with these men?
Do they not even care about their salvation?
They do whatever the $@*$ they want without care of whom they hurt!
You'll be on my prayer list.
Hugs.

Alone, I wish I had some advice for you but I am stuck were you are-my heart won't listen to my head when I know every thing he is doing is wrong and that I should be strong and kick him out. So much easier said than done.

Sending hugs and prayers your way.

Alone, prayers for you and your family. I am like you also, don't want the divorce, he's been gone 9mths now and each day that passes it gets easier to move another step closer to being ME. I like myself, am doing so much now in my free time, by free time I mean not mowing the yard, cleaning the house, cooking his meals, doing his washing blah blah. I only have ME to look after and I am getting very used to it.

This in no way means that I don't love him, but its his choice to leave me and our life, it wasn't mine. So I have decided to finally look after ME. You are a beautiful person with a lovely spirit, it comes through in your posts.

Keep the faith, God is the only one I turn to now to ask for his guidance and love. He keeps me safe, and when I can't sleep and go through this mess over and over in my head, I just say to myself, God keep me safe, and it works, I go straight to sleep, HE is always listening and watching out for us. Take care, you will get through this one tiny step at a time.

Thank you ladies for your kind words and prayers. Your support has helped me so much. It has been a long, thoughtful weekend. He will be with her until Tuesday evening and with him gone I've had lots of time to think. And to notice that as lonely as it is, it is also nice not to have to worry about another tense discussion or about hearing words from him that pierce my heart with grief. I love him and want our marriage to work. I believe it can work. This is the time couples work toward and it is so unfair to arrive there by myself. So I have decided to wait and watch to see what his attitude will be when he returns. If he really had tough talks with her and if those talks brought the stalemate he told our daughters he expected, with neither of them willing to move across country for each other. I will have to wait and see if those hopeful words I heard last week about considering the idea of working on our marriage were true.
For those of you still struggling please keep hope and faith. You will get stronger. I did and believe me if I can anyone can.
Please keep me and my family in your prayers. I will pray for you all too - for you to have strength, courage, faith, hope, honor, grace, and love.

prayers your way, May God also give you the strenght and health to see this through