I too allowed my ex to threaten me to the point that I left and was "branded with the scarlet letter" as my attorney puts it. My ex tried to shoot himself in our laundry room, where he "held" me captive for over 5 hours with a gun...stupid me I did nothing. I was as you said paralyzed with fear. Fear that he would harm not just himself but me and my children. Even into the next day I could not function enough to call the police. I lived a week with out breathing. It could have been so much easier on me if I would have. I had visions of him being hauled off in handcuffs and I didn't want my children to have to see that so I did nothing. It's ironic, I did nothing so that it would spare my children and now we are all paying for it dearly. Even though my ex admitted it( the attempt to kill himself and the continued threats on my life the week after) in court I looked like a fool, I was the one who was punished for his behavior. When the judge said that I was to move back to the marital home asap I looked up at him with tears in my eyes and told him that he might as well have signed my death sentence...I don't know if he just didn't care enough to protect me and my kids or if I ticked him off with that comment but nothing was done.
I have since gotten a PFA against two members of his family. I have already taken his sisters husband to court for calling me a f*cking wh*re" while driving past my house while me and the kids were out playing in the yard. I also have a PFA against his brother because for days on end he would just drive past the house, not just once or twice but sometimes 6 or 7 times in an hour. I would wake up every morning to a dozen beer cans in my yard, just my yard, the neighbors were clear. I was able to get that because of his brother's threats to me in the beginning.
If I could do it differently I would have had his ass hauled off to jail, put a restraining order against him and dealt with the kids seeing all of this.
But like you said hind site is 20/20. Instead of cleaning up that mess I am cleaning up the mess I made by leaving in the first place
Lisa H, i'm sorry for the cruel words i'm about to say, but it's such a shame your ex wasn't able to shoot himself.
I myself was stupid enough not to contact he police when the snake grabbed me on my neck, smashed my head on a door corner and then threw me on a chest of drawers. I was stupid enough to allow him to do all that mess and I was stupid enough to have faith in the *******.
Right now I do wish he gets in a car crush and dies, but then I think it would be too good for him, and change my wish for him to get very old, diable, and not having anybody to look after him, have a very long and painful death. My anger has no boundaries.....
Not cruel Gabillina. Not anything I haven't already thought.
I could kick myself for not loading the **** thing for him...
I wish painful deaths to him all the time..he could fall out a turbine when he is working, that his harness is faulty and he hits the ground at record speed....that his brakes go out and he falls off a cliff, that he slips and hits his head in the shower.
I know it's wrong to do but I can't help it from time to time.
I also wish the worse things for the flea, but for me it would be for my son to stop going over for visitations, I think it is getting there, now the flea calls and my son won't answer the phone. When I ask if he wants to talk to his father, he always answer "NO". So maybe my wish will come true soon.