desperate: I would get a free consultation with a divorce Lawyer, or, if you do not have access to money (he is controlling it), go to the nearest courthouse for assistance or the nearest Bar Association.
First, I am so sorry for your dashed hopes and dreams. I really really am. Truly.
You are not an employee and you don't have to be desperate. It may be time to start helping yourself. Do you have a way to support yourself other than the business? If not, start planning for how you are going to do that. Financial independence is freedom. I know you are exhausted, but start thinking about putting away money that he doesn't know about. Think about a place to live. Think about gathering the paperwork (income statements, tax returns, information on all accounts). Is the business in both your names?
Most importantly, think about what you really want. Life is too short to be miserable. If you truly feel like you are being used and abused, then please do something about it; but think about it long and hard. If you are sure that this is not the right thing for you, then get yourself out with advance planning. No rash decisions.
It wouldn't hurt to consult an attorney. I know that feels momentous and so final, but it is good to know the process and options.
Why not allow your stbx to get the house? Or sell it and split the proceeds? Don't be house-poor.
While I love to have my own, I had to let my first house go into foreclosure. Eight years later it had dropped off my credit record and I was able to buy a nicer house in a better community.
I know how you feel. In the same situation, only we don't have a business. He talked me into quitting my job last year so I have no income. Depend on him. He has all the money, only gives me money when I ask, then its how much. He's insisting that we sale the house for whatever we can get. He knows he's got to have my signature so he's making it bad living here. I know what's coming, but don't have the means to go anywhere else. I AM SCARED!!!