Diane: It is ok to feel stressed during divorce. Nearly everyone does. My Lawyer said "leave the driving to us" meaning let us handle everything to do with the divorce. If you care to write more in detail about your situation, we can help you more. My Lawyer just talk(s) to his to deal with things. My ex didn't make it a friendly divorce as he should. There was my family money involved and he wanted half of it, among other things, but makes a ton more than I will ever see in a year. I hope you have a Lawyer and the Lawyer would tell you to close all joint bank accounts, joint credit cards, etc., and get your own. If you cannot afford a Lawyer, try the following: Legal Aid for low income, the nearest Bar Association or inquire at the local courthouse. I was divorced in 2009. I needed to go to the local Food Pantry and shop at Thrift Shops to get what I needed before the alimony kicked in. If applicable, do some research on line about alimony and child support laws in your State.

That IS overwhelming. You are going through the emotional trauma and at the same time have to deal with the realities of life as a single person. Give yourself a break. Some things are just not going to get done.

a few of the things are really **** me off: the stupid coffee machine, not being able to open a jar, not being able to reach stuff on the high shelf, and lugging the garbage every week to the curb (which i only remember to do every third time ... ugh).

It gets better. I pressure washed the deck all by myself this weekend, and felt proud of my accomplishment.

One step at a time.

Ha ha Ellie...I power washed yesterday too! Last year he started it up and left me while he went to have a beer. And that was during a short period when he was trying to make things better! There was a time he would never let me lift a finger without him helping and worrying about my back. He actually had the nerve to criticize me last night and say I ruined the 18 yr old screens by power washing! I checked before I sprayed them and they were all coming loose from age. I couldn't take the hose off so he did it when he came home and put the washer back in the garage, but he didn't even coil up the hose! I remember an email I saw a few yrs ago in his secret email account, where his ***** "friend" told him she took some pool hose out and he complained that she did it herself and that she should have called him! He has no idea how ugly my feelings are...good thing I'm not a violent person, but I better not ever see that ***** face to face...it won't be good. I don't think I've ever hated anyone as much as I hate him for what he has done.

New Day,

I've always said anger is better than self pity. So you keep pressure washing ... it's all good.

Ellie

You are so right Ellie. I had been avoiding changing a light bulb high on the ceiling for months because the sconce was pretty difficult to take off. But I finally decided that I had to just get up and do it. So I got up on a tall bar stool, somehow managed to unscrew the darn sconce, and put in a new bulb. It took me all of 5 minutes to do something that I had been avoiding it for months. I felt so good once that was done though! As much of a pain as some things are at times (taking out trash, etc.), every so often I smile to myself when I realize how good it feels to take charge, to have my independence back, and to do things for myself.

Lonely,

I should have mentioned the lightbulb and the vaulted ceiling too as among the things that defy me. How many divorced women does it take to change a light bulb? Just one; it just takes her four hours of fiddling around with one of those long pole thingies. Two broken bulbs and half a concussion later from boinking myself in the head with the pole thingie, and the bulb is changed! I am obviously neither handy nor graceful.

BTW, I never knew I had such a foul mouth until I got this divorce. It seems I am constantly cursing out inanimate objects :)

xo,
Ellie

Ellie,

LOL Whole new vocabulary!

Note to self:light bulb in lounge needs changing!! Mission underway....

So nice reading these messages, it sounds like a liberating feeling. I didnt even know how to buy light bulbs, had to ask my dad, now its lying there hoping that by some miracle it will find its way up there....lol

... helpful hint: buy multiple lightbulbs. That way when you break the first few, you don't have to keep running to the **** store.

Maybe I should start wishing for the miracle of the garbage taking itself out! It is a strategy ... maybe not terribly effective, but still ... :)

Ellie