Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. I was really in a dark place but glad to be out of it now.
Ellie, sorry you had to find that email, it brings about so many emotions, the ones that you thought you got over however it is also perhaps a little nudge to remind you about how far you have come and we need to remind ourselves of our progress.
I was really priviledged to go on a resilience training course by my company and I have to say that we all have the power to bounce back, even when we feel like we sinking. That session allowed me to open my eyes to the things I already knew in theory but now how to put it into practice. We are allowed to feel like crying, we allowed to feel sad and lonely, depressed and miserable but its the tools that we need to have to help us spring back up.
Its there within us, just need to keep searching....
So glad you are in a better place today. Yes, the power of resilience!
Among the silver linings: Learning that you are stronger than you thought you were or could be. Learing that you can survive. Learning that you can even survive with some grace and dignity. All good things ... maybe not happiness yet but steps forward.