Megan,
It is essential that you get a good attorney ASAP. Find one that you have faith in and that has a good reputation. Take their advice, they know what is going on and what is coming next. Take each day one day at a time and handle your emotions as they come. My ex turned out to be a con man and a crimnal and realizing my entire life was a lie was more devastating than even the divorce. I am in sales so I visit clients nearly daily. I would cry in the car at times. I just told my clients I was struggling with allergies. But if you don't deal with the emotions as they come, you will deal with them later. Have faith that Gods plan is bigger than ours and just take care of you and your kids until you can handle more. Let your attorney take care of the legal stuff. Remember, they charge for everything . . . don't use your attorney as an emotional sounding board, call your girlfriends. But do let him take care of the legal stuff. Good luck, it is a very difficult thing but you will come out happier in the end. It is amazing how much we don't realize that we are coping with on a day to day basis until we are out of a difficult situation.
Megan: Some more advice: When you do see the Lawyer, Legal Aid or stop at your nearest courthouse for legal help, see about getting child support and/or emergency spousal support ASAP. If you need child care and your family can't help: Voucher (Government) help to pay for child care, WIC Program and Food Stamps, Food Pantry, Boys and Girls Clubs or America or YMCA for school aged child care. See about job training at the local unemployment office or women's services center. Many women can be trained to shop/clean/do errands for the elderly or can receive medical office training. When you do get money, shop at Thrift Shops. I shop at Dollar Stores also and wholesale food warehouses (I buy certain things in bulk). I also shop at a grocery store which is considered a discount place. I was divorced in 2009. My ex left after many years spending time at Hooters and Strip Clubs, etc. I agree with the other person that he may be cheating.