Turtledove: My Lawyer told me not to involve myself in any way with what my ex is doing in his personal life and I think that is good advice. I vowed I'd never date again, but someone found me two years after the divorce and I found myself ready to date again and lonely. Keeping the t.v. or radio on and having a cat helps as I am still living alone. Our daughter told me he started dating before the divorce was final and then stepped back and decided not to be the messenger anymore. Good luck to his girlfriend of five years. She will need it. I hope you meet someone nice again someday if that is what you want. Life is too short. There are nice people out there.

I am sorry you are in this situation. Its definately not something we prepare ourselves for. The only thing you can do is try and accept that you cannot control what he does and who he see's, you can however control your thoughts and actions. Its easier said than done but you have to keep telling yourself that it is beyond your control. Find things to keep you busy, things that you enjoy doing that you may not have done before. This is my worst nightmare, I know that one day I will end up seeing a photo of my ex and another woman, the thought of it sends shivers down my spine, but mentally I am preparing myself for it. I know its bound to happen at some point. I am guilty as charged of checking out his facebook picture, and the other day I saw a new pic of him, all smiles and it angered me, because he looked happy. It then occured to me that what if there was a pic of him with someone, what would I have done then. So I now decided that I will not do that again, will not look for him on any social media and that is something I am in control off.

Just hang in there, and open yourself up to the possibility that you can start dating as well, that you will be happy again!!! It is possible!