what was the therapists input? I hope your husband didn't walk away thinking he didn't do anything wrong! Just cause her husband wants to stick his head in the sand doesn't mean you have to! It was inappropriate and I don't think your husband would have enjoyed finding out that you were doing what he did! You feel how you feel and he should respect that and put how you feel first! When husbands or wives stop considering how their spouse would feel about something they are going to say or do, trouble is just around the corner! I am sure your husband knows you well enough to know you would not be ok with his choice. That is really the bigger picture, I feel....
Well it was obvious in a matter of 15 minutes that our communication is gone...it was actually nice to talk to my husband again and not yell at each other or sit and listen. Sucks that it got to this point. Glad some things were shared and brought into light that I was not aware of.
We are making an effort to talk more- still a day at a time right now. A ****ty situation that the others couples marriage sucks and my husband got sucked into their drama by trying to be her hero and give her the attention that her husband didn't. Doesn't make it any easier or the hurt any less, but I see the reason and how it happened, what lead to it etc. and that at least making it so that I can process it.
He is not forgiven...she will never be forgiven I don't think...and I am doing for me right now.
That reminds me of what happened with my parents. They were close friends with a couple who were having marital problems. My parents used to each be on a phone in the house talking to both of them to try to help but they divorced. The man worked with my father and my mother considered the woman her best friend. Not long after that, my parents got divorced and he married the woman friend...hummmmm....
Yeah that thought has crossed my mind too- That no matter how hard I try it may not work out. That the deeper we go into counseling I may not want it to or vice versa.
However, I am lead to believe that they (the other couple) do this all the time to other people. Basically they latch on to a couple,(cross the line with one spouse or the other)and almost get their kicks off of screwing up other peoples marriages. And they live on to do it again. Some people are sick and twisted.
I continually ask how and why we got to this point- what happened over the years to make things get to this point, especially since I always thought we had it pretty good. Those are the things that I am having the hardest time with right now...
You are right. Why did he get sucked in? Why was his oath to you not foremost on his mind? You can't protect a diabetic from all the sweets in the world. That is why trust is the corner stone to any good marriage. I hope you can work it out. I believe you can if your husband realizes he did something wrong and is sorry and changes his behavior. My husband didn't do any of that and that's why my marriage is ending. I feel I will die of a broken heart some days...I actually have put baby aspirin in my bag thinking my heart is gonna give out from all the stress.
Hello, I am sorry this is happening to you. I know exactly what it feels like to be betrayed as I lived in a deceitful marriage for 29 years. Always wondering why some things never added up. Came to the realization after too many years that it wasn't that I wasn't being tolerant enough, that it was him. He was a narcissistic, homosexual jerk.
As far as your situation is concerned. I would try marriage counseling and if he works really hard at gaining your trust again then, forgive and move forward. But, if this is just a can of worms that you just opened. I wouldn't waste my time, energy and health on someone who broke your trust.