Yeah that thought has crossed my mind too- That no matter how hard I try it may not work out. That the deeper we go into counseling I may not want it to or vice versa.

However, I am lead to believe that they (the other couple) do this all the time to other people. Basically they latch on to a couple,(cross the line with one spouse or the other)and almost get their kicks off of screwing up other peoples marriages. And they live on to do it again. Some people are sick and twisted.

I continually ask how and why we got to this point- what happened over the years to make things get to this point, especially since I always thought we had it pretty good. Those are the things that I am having the hardest time with right now...

You are right. Why did he get sucked in? Why was his oath to you not foremost on his mind? You can't protect a diabetic from all the sweets in the world. That is why trust is the corner stone to any good marriage. I hope you can work it out. I believe you can if your husband realizes he did something wrong and is sorry and changes his behavior. My husband didn't do any of that and that's why my marriage is ending. I feel I will die of a broken heart some days...I actually have put baby aspirin in my bag thinking my heart is gonna give out from all the stress.

Hello, I am sorry this is happening to you. I know exactly what it feels like to be betrayed as I lived in a deceitful marriage for 29 years. Always wondering why some things never added up. Came to the realization after too many years that it wasn't that I wasn't being tolerant enough, that it was him. He was a narcissistic, homosexual jerk.

As far as your situation is concerned. I would try marriage counseling and if he works really hard at gaining your trust again then, forgive and move forward. But, if this is just a can of worms that you just opened. I wouldn't waste my time, energy and health on someone who broke your trust.