It has been a LONG process without question. It's good to be back and I hope to share what I have learned in the process with others so they can make decisions for themselves based upon what is the best business deal for them to make. I know I would have done a couple of things differently, I also know there are things I would do again if push came to shove .. calling the police, him going to jail .. both of those things without question I would do again. I can't get my brain around why someone who wanted out would drag this out the way he did and STILL won't cooperate .. as if no one is going to mention it or talk about it kind of thing.
I keep hearing how strong I am .. I don't know if I would call it strength or I just happen to be a bumble bee .. I do it because it has to be done and there is no one else TO do it .. someone is always there telling me you can't do this or that and there I am going well ok .. good for you .. watch me .. LOL.
Lisa: Since you stated he did not see them for eight months and he is a habitual drinker, I would recommend either supervised visitation or termination of his parental rights. Hope you find a new Lawyer ASAP if your Attorney is not expected to recover for a while.
Totally freaked out I know I responded to this last night and my post is just GONE!!
Yes, he's definitely got issues with alcohol. I'm trying to avoid calling him an alcoholic as really that's his story to tell.
Part of my parenting agreement is the both of my children have the right to call visitation done. My daughter is 15 and my son is 10 .. the fact I got this in writing and the judge signed off on it HUGE. I got SOOO lucky that he just signed the agreement. I also have sole custody of the kids. He has had some awful moments. The kids have tools to deal and they know I'm a phone call away if needed and they know how to call the police as well. My daughter takes a copy of the parenting agreement with her when they go out. He is unaware of that .. push has come to shove .. the kids are able to set some very strong boundaries. The reality is .. their dad is going to drink until he finds recovery .. he's not a bad person .. I do wish he wouldn't be a pain in the butt .. and just finish what he started already .. the disease has made him a liar, cheat, thief and a drunk .. thankfully he still has a job .. how I don't know. I just hope he hangs on until I can get a better job. It is only 4 days out of the month they have to see him and honestly .. of course they want to see their dad. Now .. he shows to my house drunk or high .. we will have issues and the kids won't get in the car with him.
I'm in a state that favors father's rights so for me to get what I have .. it wouldn't be unusual to have this cost thousands of dollars to get it situated .. I mean double digits 30 to 40k. Terminating rights is not that easy .. plus he pays .. unwillingly of course .. child support and I do need that at the moment. I will be very content with the parenting agreement in place as well as the fact the mediator took my agenda and pursued sole custody based upon his dealings with my stbx.
I trust my kids to know when they have had enough visitation .. they actually have had no overnights for almost a year now .. 8 months no contact and then when they did start contact .. he acted out and they told him NO thank you. They see his crazy at the same time it's hard on them .. they want their dad .. that's the hardest part for me is that part of the deal.