Go and find an atty you can talk to with for a free consultation with all of your questions .. I would talk to at least 3 different atty's.

Things I would consider at what point you are separated .. some states will allow you to sign a waiver for separation period .. some do not. That's why talking to an atty that knows the state laws is so important.

You will want to know what your rights are as far as after the 20 year mark.

Hope that's at least a start for you, .. my other recommendation is atty's are not therapists so don't cry on his/her shoulder looking for support .. they will come across as cold and uncaring. They don't want to deal with tears .. at least that has been my experience from friends, family .. my original atty was shocked when I didn't cry .. I told him I can go and cry for free on a friends shoulder ... he's my atty not my friend. LOL.

Anyway, .. big hugs to you and best of luck .. we are here for you :)

Michelle: My ex left when our daughter was 18 and a full time college student. I agree with Lisa, because you have reached the 20 year mark, find out what is at stake if you divorce. If you decide to end the marriage, DO NOT leave the house if you can afford to keep it (you have kids and it mimimizes disruption for them). My parents (also divorced) had many lengthy arguments (we timed 2 of them - 2 1/2 hours each and this scars the kids, so don't stay together for them) or bring in a trusted person as a roommate to help you make ends meet. If your husband does not have much money, he could live with family, live in a small place or get a roommate or even rent a room. My ex was kicked out by both Lawyers because they felt he would start fighting and moved and lived with family for 2 years. Make sure you get your child support for the 15 year old. You did not state whether or not you are working. I was working very part time due to an injury for half the 21 yr. marriage. I stayed home for 10 years because my whole check would have gone to day care and family was working. I put our daughter in the car when she was 10 and delivered papers. Alimony in most States is restorative in nature and depends upon many factors including the length of the marriage, employability of both spouses, health of both, age of both, etc. See if you can get a free consultation with a Family Lawyer. I had one. They are best when it comes to families with kids. My ex took me back to court each year, fighting the alimony so he could buy a house. I was glad I was able to get off alimony when Dad's Estate became available. I was 46 when my ex left. Let us know how it goes. We do care.