I'm newly separated (5 months) and I've filed for divorce from my husband of 3 1/2 years. Tried marriage counseling and in the process caught him texting/talking to other women. That was the last straw so I kicked him out. I took 1 month to spend time alone and with our 3 year old son to decide if this is really what I want and it was. He instantly chose to go out and chase tail. Now, he's realizing that the grass is not greener, he's begging to come back. It's like a switch went off in inside me and I have no desire to be with him and I'm not in love with him anymore. I feel guilty because I'm the one keeping our little family apart but I can't help the way I feel. I met a wonderful new man whom I really like. I know its probably wrong as they say to wait 1-2 years for healing and to have divorce finalized. In my heart, this marriage was over a few years ago so I mentally left then but physically left in March. Question is why do I feel so guilty for moving on and with a new love in my life? I see my soon to be ex husband hurting and wanting us back but I can't change my heart. I feel like a horrible person. Any advise given would be grateful?

Sunshine: I was married to someone with Asperger's Autism and didn't know it so I, as you say, "mentally left" the marriage about ten years in. As a child of divorce, I would not advise anyone just to stay in it for the sake of family life or for the kids as it would not be a quality life. The courts don't look kindly on people dating while a divorce is underway, so I would keep it very low key until the divorce is final.

I would suggest getting counseling for yourself.

Hi,
My name is Nadia and I also just separated from my husband of three years. He left about 2 weeks ago. We already lived in separate bedrooms for the past three months. I can fully relate with you on the feeling of guilt. I dont have an explanation but it is totally overwhelming. I sometime wonder if this is the best descision I made but we grew apart and there is no affection and desire. I was frustrating living under one roof. Everything irratated me. I dredded going home. At this stage I feel confused because I am overwhelmed with a lot of different emmotions and dont know what to do. I want to file for divorce but hesitant do make the appointment. I probably should give myself some time to reconnect with myself.