Dear Pepper, You have come to a good place to let out your pain and frustrations. This forum has heard everything. Your husband sounds like he has serious character disorders. It may not seem possible right now but he is giving you the gift of freedom. You said it all when you said you deserve much better. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the type of person he is. He is a user. The pain will take some time to go away but it will. Protect yourself financially. If you have him doing well now take your share! You need to force yourself out there to begin a new life without him. It is so hard to do this at first but do it you must. Try and be thankful you will not waste another moment with a man of such poor character. We are praying you heart heals quickly. Like all of us here need to try and pick better next time.
I thank you for your king and encouraging words. I will do this for all the women and me who have been treated this way.
Yes, he has done well and I was right by his side at all the functions and hosting parties here at home. I did him proud.
I have gathered my evidence and I have given it to my lawyer. I would like to share some poems, it can give you and idea of what it has been like. I am a writer and this is how I expressed myself with on one to talk to.
Have you ever been punished over and over again
Shunned away and left to cry
Made to feel worthless
While others push you aside
Have you ever tried and tried and tried
Yet it still was not enough
No matter how hard you work
They still just made it so rough
Have you ever just forgave and forgave
and let it just roll on past by
But minute by minute they would bring it up
And hurt you till you cried
Have you ever just loved and loved
Only to be pushed a side
Have you ever been so hungry for him
That you just swallow your pride
You have forgiven so many times before
So quickly your heart forgot
Because that is what Loves about
Not walking out the door
As another weekend rolls on by
And I sit here in our home
Alone again with out him here
While chosen to go and roam
Five weekends in a row
No future is ever spoken
My heart with every beat it takes
Weeps because it is broken
I pray that he feels compassion
and realizes how true this is
A love like ours comes only once
We should not be sharing our love in ration
CDZ 5/31/14
I truly hope you understand it. Thank you. I send a hug of great Thanks
Pepper
OH A SOUL SO COLD AND DENSE...NOT WITH IN REACH...NO LIGHT WILL BE LET IN.....NO SOUND IS HEARD....BUT LIPS OF WOE DO MOVE....SHAMLESS ACTS AWAY DO STAY I BEHOVE.....TEARS BLOOD RED FROM SINS OF PAST.....ONES DONE WRONG STILL HAUNT OH SO SAD.....MY WICKED ONE THOU MUST PAY....WAIT IN YOUR DARKNESS TILL THEE JUDGEMENT DAY... CDZ 2/14/14
Pepper