Dear Lin, It is so hard to be responsible for the well being of our children almost all by ourselves. The amount of child support seems very low unless he also has the children quite a bit. Some women actually have to pay the ex instead of getting paid. Unless it is spelled out in the custody order you probably won't get it. Have you tried to reason with him and let him know his lack of support on the extra expenses is just hurting his children. My mother had four of us and almost no help at all financially from my father. I remember she always worked two sometimes three jobs and we spent most of our lives being cared for by babysitters. It is so wrong that the kids are the ones who pay for the sins of the parents. I pray he might just step up for his kids sake and help more. My heart goes out to you and the struggles you must bare to be there for the kids. They will grow to know which one of you cared and made the sacrifices.
Linn: We learned not to depend on my ex for anything. He was not very responsible when it came to health insurance and he also took me back to court every year cutting or trying to cut alimony. Here's what I did and what I am advising you to do: go to the nearest Food Pantry and shop at Thrift Shops for clothing, buy in bulk at Wholesale Shops, and get clothes on sale or off season. I saw a woman bring her two boys into a Thrift Shop and she bought all their back to school clothes there. Some items still have the tags on them. If you feel they must have something new, many people limit their kids to one new outfit for school these days to wear on the first day. You could start doing this next year. Whatever it is in writing that your ex has to pay, then that is what it is. Where I live it is based on the paying parents income. A friend of mine has it in writing on a divorce agreement that her ex has to pay half of other expenses in addition to child support (like school photos), but he refuses and it is just a fight, but he does pay a lot in child support.
Lin, it was told me to that my stbx does not have to .. HOWEVER with my kids being older they know how to work the program .. I hate to say it that way .. however this is what he can give. So .. it's always dad .. I need new shoes, I need a haircut .. I need school supplies. In my state this IS considered part of the deal. I am SOOOOO sorry that you are going through this because it sucks and you are right that is NOT enough to raise children on. Most parents will not say NO to their children and maybe that's wrong of me to do .. when he's dropping 1k every other weekend on the kids .. I DO NOT feel badly about them asking for what they need vs what they want.