tina: This all needs to go before a Family Lawyer and a Judge. Tell whoever you have to represent you legally (if you don't have anyone, you need someone) that he cannot hold down a job and has kidnapped your son. Many fathers want custody and manipulate their kids into thinking the mom is wrong for them to live with because they want full custody so they won't have to pay child support. In my eyes, any parent who kidnaps and cannot keep a job should not have any type of custody and should only have supervised visitation on a limited basis. Where I live in MA, I believe it is age 12 when the child can decide where they want to live, but it seems your ex cannot provide for him and is using counselling to try and get his way. When you son gets older, he will see his Dad for who he is in a negative light - I know, I have a 25 year old who saw everything for what it was as she got older.