Hello my name is Jenn and I just need to vent for a minute. I have been married for 15 years but we have been together for almost 21 years. I am still trying to figure out what went wrong. I know we argued a lot but it was over stupid stuff. I think he started arguments on purpose just so it could give him a reason to leave. He had started to become a abusive mentally and I was not having it. I know that he is some years older than me so I figured that maybe he was going through some things I didn't understand. He would always talk about how he did everything his self and I didn't do anything. I bus my butt everyday just like he do standing on my feet for 8 hours a day. I think it was just an excuse. My thing is when do this get easier? I can't stop thinking about him and everywhere I go i have a memory about something and all I want to do is cry. Tell me it gets easier. I need to get this off my chest so I think he is a stupid, worthless,stubborn butt-hole who cares about no one but himself.He has no idea how much my heart is hurting and I can't make it stop.
Hi Jenn,
I understand your pain and of course we, as women, do tend to accept more than our fair share of the blame in these sorts of matters.
You will drive yourself crazy thinking about it, dissecting it, examining it.
The best thing to do is to keep yourself busy and try to do things that give you some happiness and pleasure. it wont stop the pain but it will help the time go faster and time does make it better I promise. Holding on to all the pain and anger will only destroy us.
Look ahead to the way out and your new life....it will be much better!!!!
Good luck and hugs to you.
Jody
Hi Jody, I would just like to say Thank You for your advice and kind words. I know what you are saying is much true and I really needed to hear that. Wish I had a friend like you around right now. Going through this alone is awful. I will keep everything that you have said in mind. Again Thanks!
I hope you can find some kind of counseling that is available and you have a good support system. It IS hard, trying to figure out why another person does what they do is like putting milk back in the bottle after it's been spilt it's just not going to happen. It is also easier to focus on why that person does what they do .. vs .. why do I do what I do. It does get easier. It's not going to happen overnight. Big hugs and welcome. L :)
I just want to say Thank You for everyone's kind words. I really needed to hear it coming from someone else other than myself saying it. It is a struggle nut I know that I am strong enough to make it through this and eventually have a very happy life. Again Thanks!
Jenn: It sounds like your efforts went unappreciated. It does take time to heal surround yourself with supportive friends and/or family. I was married for 21 years. I'm glad it's over - found someone nicer from a nicer family. It is time for you to take care of yourself whether it be a walk, a long bath, yoga or whatever. I found it helpful not to have any photos around of my ex. They are in the closet for our daughter whenever she wants them as well as the wedding "album" - never really got a professional album, but made one for our daughter complete with baby photos of myself and my ex for her to keep after I pass.