My husband and I moved to the US nine years ago. After 5 years, my husband moved to LA for work. He met a woman while in LA so decided we should separate. At this point we had been married for 22 years. I never worked, home taking care of the kids. We never legally filed for separation. He continued to pay me $800.0/month for my personal expenses and the maintenance of the house. Now he's girlfriend wants to get married and my husband is rushing me to get a divorce. I contacted an attorney and was told my husband should pay me $4,800/month and paid for the time we were separated. We are trying to settle without involving lawyer, but don't want to make a mistake that I'm going to regret later. Right now I'm asking him $3,500/month for 10 years. I'm not sure if it is something that is reasonable or insane. Very confused.
Jane: I was married for 21 years and was home raising our daughter for 10 and worked very part time due to an injury. He was making between 60 - 80K/yr. I got alimony of $1K/month which was not enough even though the house and car were paid for because I did not factor into it I'd have to pay someone now to do everything he did - like mowing the lawn, computer stuff, doing the tax return, etc. I filled out a worksheet/budget for my monthly expenses for the Lawyer and the court. Usually a Lawyer will try to get a higher amount than what will actually be gotten and the Lawyers negotiate somewhere in the middle. He also took me back to court nearly every year which cost me $1,200 to defend myself, so if you can agree on an amount amicably, it will go a long way and you can both move on with your lives without revisiting the mess. Don't deal with things like alimony without a Lawyer.
Dear Jane, Please get an attorney! If you were married 22 years and never worked you will have a more difficult time getting employment in the future without some skill and education. With that length of marriage you may qualify for more money and more time. Don't give away the farm please. The lawyer most likely used the scale for your state. Why reward a man who betrayed you and give up what might be rightfully yours. Don't let him rush you so you lose anything so HE can get married. Please use your head!
Thanks for your inputs. Many people around me are telling the same thing. I didn't want to go that route because of my sons. Don't want to hurt their father, but by way of thinking I will be the one getting hurt. He left for LA last week and he is not back yet. No news, nothing. I texted him this morming, will see if he replies.