My daughter recently spent 6 weeks with her father for the summer while I, my son and boyfriend of 6+ years moved and settled in a new sunny state. My ex and I had a verbal agreement that he would drive her to my new home and when I spoke with him a few days prior to the expected date, he said he had no intentions of doing so and that my daughter didn't want to go. She wanted to stay with him. Obviously I was shocked and hurt and angry all at once. I wasn't sure what to do so I flew to where she was and tried to make her come with me. She ran away in the middle of the night! I again was shocked and hurt and confused and angry and sad all at once! After getting no where with the courts I had to head home empty handed. Sobbing on the airplane people probably thought I was afraid of flying or something. I am just heart broken, so sad and feel like part of me is missing. I dream of her every night if I can sleep at all.
Her father went to jail in 2012 for a drug related offense. Was on probation for a year at which time he held the only job he has had in 15 years but as soon as he was off probation, lost his job, got evicted and has been hanging out with losers! Oh yeah, and there was a recent DUI as well! The situation just sucks, if he was a decent person maybe this would be easier for me but I feel like he is such a loser... why would she choose to live with him? Doesn't she miss me and her little brother? Doesn't she miss her nice room and belongings? I just feel a little empty inside and thought typing this maybe someone could relate or say some encouraging words.
I am just waiting on the court system for now... fun times!

Anonymous: As kids get older, they see their parents for who they truly are. Anyone who has been in jail in recent years and had a recent DUI should not have custody. I would contact a Family Lawyer. It may be she has a boyfriend or friends where she was all summer or that he has no real rules for her and she likes this. You did not let us know how old your daughter is, so it makes it a little more difficult for me to write something helpful. I have a daughter who was 18 when my ex left and is now 25.

She is almost 12. Not quite old enough to see him for how he truly is. I think she has idealized him a bit over the past year and a half. But nevertheless, it's very hard! :( Thank you for your kind words.

While I do not mean to be insensitive to your hurt, I would urge you to take a look in the mirror. Is it possible, just possible, maybe your daughter sees you for how you truly are? Do not misunderstand, I don't know the situation, and I am not judging. However, I do find it funny that in every dispute between a man and a woman, no matter what happens or what it is about, it is always the man who is at fault. There is an old joke, except it is not a joke, why do men die before their wives? Because they want to. The courts totally favor the woman, without exception. So does society. If a man hits a woman, he is a monster, but never mind that 50% of the time it is in self defense(and don't give me that crap about a woman cant hurt a man. Women can and do damage. And not every man is rippling with muscles, either) I do know in my own marriage, the whole breakdown of my marriage is 100% my fault, my wife has NEVER done one thing wrong, and if we ever do get divorced, the courts will award her everything. Lucky for me, while the kids do love their mother, they do see her for what she is, and they love me just as much as her. My 14 year old son loves his mother but is sympathetic to me because he is old enough to understand what she does.

Again, I don't know the situation, I only talk this way based on behavior I have seen from women, and I know women are not the innocent angels they are portrayed to be. If your husband is a loser, and does these things, maybe, just maybe you drove him to it. If you actually are innocent in this, then I do deeply apologize, but for the love of God, I know its not 100% him. its not 100% ANYBODY. Please be the rare good woman who will be accountable for what faults may belong to you