Hi, I am 32 going on 33 on Sunday and my anniversary is next month. I dont know what to do. My husband has been out of work since June and he got a job and he worked only two days. Then he wants to get angry at me... like Im the reason he quit his job. He quit it on his own. I am barely able to pay the bills and have food on the table we dont have any kids and this is the 3rd time this year he has walked out on a job. Im giving up... I have tried to be understanding and we live in an area where jobs prosperous so he can get a job tomorrow. I have tried to talk to him and ask him if there is something wrong... he doesn't answer me.
Im a good person Im tired of living in a hostile environment i cannot find any solace anywhere. He has not mentioned divorce, but I wish he would just give up and tell me so i can file and he can be a distant memories.
Alva: I would recommend getting a consultation with a Legal Rep. from the MA Bar Association (free legal help) or Legal Aid, and, if you or he leave, close all joint bank accounts, joint credit cards, etc., so he can't take your money.
Dear Alva, Does your husband have any history of substance abuse? How out of character is this? Is this new behavior or has he always been this way? Certainly sound very self destructive. If it is depression he needs help with this. He must do this himself with your help of course. Has some life event happened recently like death of a parent or close friend? Could there be another women? It is certain you can't continue this way. If he won't open up to you and is bent on destroying his life don't let him take you down with him. I would start preparing to move on with your life. It takes two to build a life together which also includes financial security. This will continue to limit your life choices. I wish you the best but it doesn't sound promising unless he cooperates.
A woman once told me that if you want a different type of relationship, you need to get a different man. You are not going to change him or the relationship. Only you can decide if this is the relationship you want to keep.