One lovely fine day last October, my husband and I were sitting by the pool sipping cocktails. He went inside to refresh my drink, and he came back and said he can't be married anymore. He dumped some dirty clothes into a hamper and drove away. That was the last time I saw him. Later I found out his mistress was coming over to "out him." I had no idea.
I got the quickest divorce in the history of mankind, thinking that faster is better. And it has been quite a journey. I went from weeping on the ground to being able to stand up again. I took a big job and moved to Australia. I am mostly fine. He married her about a month ago, and that was hard. Today is what would have been my 24th anniversay (from our first date), and 17th anniversay from our wedding date. We got married on the same date as our first date. You go along and think you are fine, and these milestones come. And then there are the tears again.
It is the amputated limb that keeps throbbing long after it is gone. Phantom pain. Too bad it feels so real.
I understand what you are talking about. I've been divorced over a year, and at 64 years old, starting a life all over again. He found someone else, and is living with her. That is hard to swallow. His life just went on, as if I never existed. I've come to realize that my husband is a Narcisstic man. And so feelings of empathy, remorse, or loving, real love is just not in the cards for him. His new supply (his new woman) is simply there to make life better and easier for him. I know that. And sometimes I wonder when the Karma is going to happen and this evil man gets what he deserves. I don't know if it will happen in my life time.
Mostly I am doing fine too. I am blessed with a wonderful family, grandchildren, siblings and good, good friends. I have a nice job, I pay my bills on time and I thought I could never do that. There is peace in my home now. But yes, sometimes, there are triggers, and then come when I least expect it, and I cry too. I hurt, I remember loving him and believing in him a long, long time ago. I think the after effects of betrayal and divorce just takes a very long time. I've been divorced a little over 1 year but sometimes it feels like yesterday. Every day I push myself to smile, and do something nice either for myself or someone else. And I will say that most days are pretty **** good. And I am grateful that there is no more stress.
I am waiting for the day that the memories don't hurt me anymore.
I have been divorced 4 years (after a 19 year marriage) and still have days when the pain of him throwing away what I saw as a pretty good life (sure we had some issues but what honest relationship doesn't). Praying everyone on this site heals sooner then I am able to.