ive been gratefully divorced from an abusive husband for 2 years now. sometimes tho i just feel overwhelmed that iam on my own we were married for 23 years and he was very controlling so i have no idea about things from paying a bill to insuring my car its pathetic i know!! is this normal after the initial relief that i got away i now am feeling so alone.
Yes, it is very normal to feel all this fear. I too have been divorced for alittle over a year, and my controlling husband managed everything in our home. He was in construction and repairs were nothing to him. I had to learn, and slowly, I took task after task and got them done. I learned how to bargain, and I prayed alot that nothing else would go wrong until my head was above water. It is very scary.
I took my time, and learned how to paint. Slowly I tackled one room at a time. There was no one to rush for, no one to make fun of me, and room by room I did it. A can of paint is not that expensive.
I made my home, my own and it was the most uplifting feeling. But yes, that scared feeling is always there in my head. I just push through it. I found that women can do just about anything....I was amazed about the knowledge.
And I do worry about my old age, in two months I will be turning 65. But today, I am okay. I work, I collect early social security, and I budget, budget, budget. It has been working out. I never had a dollar to my name being married to him. He put everything in his name only. Today, I have a savings account. Can you believe it?
So it can work out. Fear can stop you in your tracks and keep you in one place. Believe me, I suffered from that for years and years. Sometimes today I ask myself, 'What the hell were you afraid of?"
I got a divorce after 31 years of verbal and physical abuse. Fear kept me there. Fear of the unknown; how could I take care of myself.....The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patrcia Evans saved my life and propelled me forward. iI have b een alone now for 11 years. I was the poster child for the fear of being alone.
I dealt with a flooded basement, repairs, terrible car accident in the winter........etc.......we are all strong and can do what we have to. Boil it down to one thing at a time; if we think into the future we will feel frozen. Getting some therapy is a good idea,also.
I am 67 and a Sophomore in college....because I wrote about my life and won a scholarship (used all of the ugliness and made something positive come from it.
Write, talk, journal...I used to say I couldn't do....one day at a time...I could only do one second at a time....reach out for all of the resources available...xoxo
P.S. My ex controlled everything, also.....knew nothing about bills, insurance, cable, etc....but I learned and you can too......ask questions, get the information you need and in time you will realize...hey, I am doing it!
Every time we do something for the first time is scary, but you can do it!