Shannon: You need legal help for a question like this. Lawyers deal with things like finance, homes and taxes. My ex is a retired military man and I lost most of my benefits after the divorce except USAA. Talk to the VA loan people also and/or DEERS. In many divorce cases, the home is ordered sold. I got to keep my home because I am injured and have nowhere to go. He bought a new home eventually. The house is paid for. He did have a VA loan on a home he'd bought before he met me and I know they are strict with their policies, so I would contact them first.

Dear Shannon, I would tell him that is the deal you are welling to accept and if he insists then he must agree to lower your buy out by the additional cost to you to get a new loan providing you can even get a new loan. I would stand my ground if you can. Do you have children? Would he take the home away from his kids if there are any. What does your lawyer say? It would not be an fair settlement if it cost you more. Don't let him bully you on this unless you really care if you keep the house at all costs. Could be he might ask it be sold then instead. I guess it would then be up to the judge. So many women get beat down and just agree to anything just to get it over with. Good luck with this.