Mel: I agree with Emily A. Don't contact him anymore if you don't have minor children. My Lawyer told me not to get involved in my ex's personal life. I think that is good advice. My ex does whatever he wants, including moving 2 hours away from his girlfriend who he sees/met at a dance club on weekends (her husband died) - sound like Emily's ex. Good luck to these women who are with our ex's. They will need it. Mel, it sounds like your stbx is very selfish.