Well, today is the day it all becomes final. I have a lot of mixed feelings. Relief, loneliness, sadness, scared, happy, free...wondering how to cope with so many varied feelings. Over the weekend, we watched our son get married. It was extremely difficult to watch as two young people enter marriage when you know the following Monday you are ending a marriage. So much happens in 27 years and some you can move past and some you can't. I wish there was a way I could guarantee that my kids will not have to go through everything I have. My STBX is hoping I will have a change of heart at the last minute. It is all mixed in my head right now but I know it is for the best. Maybe the future will bring change in him but for now this is what I need to do.
Of course we all have. It is gut wrenching. And sometimes the missing them and the heartache doesn't leave for years afterwards. If you are standing firm, and know in your heart that this is for the best, then I am thinking that you didn't want to do this, but you had no choice. You were unhappy with the life that you had with this person.
I still can't watch other people's children getting married, or a mushy love story on TV. It is very hard. Because we all remember those dreams that we all had. We remember the love that we felt, and truly hoped that it was felt towards us.
There are alot of roller coaster feelings to deal with in the next coming year...be patient with yourself. And try to look at this as a new beginning in another chapter in your life. This next one, is all about YOU. Love yourself this year, you deserve it.