thank you emmalove

Im in new york state.my husband furthered his education while i was home with my workers compenstaion injury which was ok becuase we were supposed to grow old together.but when i settled the lawyer told me not to put it in our joint account if i did then he could take half so i didnt and never have put the money togehter.
im past that part of things the regret and the what did i suposedly do wrong stuff.
i have the kids 8 out of 14 nights we switch the weekends and they are with him overnight two nights and me three nights so i have more time or overnights with them so im automatically the custodial parent i think.
and thats what i thought about the settlement money the money was for my injury not his he didnt get hurt.he can get a $600 tattoo and fly down to florida to see his parents but cant contribute a dime toward the kids sure he buys them an outfit or two here and there but hes always late picking them up or hell say he cant take them tonight because he doesnt feel good or something.
he says that he doesnt talk bad about me but he told friends of ours well friends of his that i dont deal with anymroe that i cheated on him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh and we said we wouldnt let the kids meet anyone until after the divorce but my oldest has alrady met the girlfriend why would you let your kid meet your girlfriend while youre married?

I found a couple of these websites that might help:

http://www.nycourts.gov/courthelp/faqs/divorce.html

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/new_york/nyfaq01


If anything, you could always sue him for child support, or threaten it.

Good luck with everything and I hope it all works out!

Teri B: About the Worker's Compensation money - I don't think he'll get it because he has extra money each month. This is something to discuss with your Lawyer. Also, he needs to be ordered to pay child support. Where I live, they can take it out of a person's pay electronically. He says he has no extra money, yet he has picked an expensive place to live so he needs to move to a less expensive place (be sure and tell your Lawyer he is living someplace which is very expensive and tell her the amount it costs him to live there if you know it). There also needs to be drawn up, in writing, a custody agreement and a visitation schedule for the kids. A typical visitation is every other weekend and one night a week for the non-custodial parent. Be sure and tell your Lawyer he doesn't spend much time with the kids when he has them. He is probably more interested in being with his friends or the other woman. I agree with the other poster, this needs to go before a Judge, ASAP. Hopefully, in the divorce agreement, it will state who helps with future college expenses for the kids.

thanks Lara

I'm calling my lawyer today to get a hearing scheduled.
It was something I did ask my lawyer about a few months ago, but my lawyer told me that if he's not causing trouble then right now why bother then when I asked last week about child support then he said that might be a problem becuase its been so long since now and between i filed.its been about 10 months.
If I knew that child support might be in trouble i would have had that hearing months ago.

my soon to be ex left the house, moved out into an apartment almost twice as much as the mortgage, and when he left he had no balances on his credit cards.we didnt have any joint cards so he couldnt stick me with half the bill.
when i got his financial statement i saw all his credit cards on there and the amounts were all within 100 dollars of their limits.i used to write the checks so i knew what the limits were.

heres what him and his lawyer offered me.
< they said that they were eligible for half my settlement but they dont know that I settled they're talking about future settlement.
< they said i could keep his half of the equity of the house about $10,000 and in return he wouldnt pay child support.

That man will do anything to avoid responsibility.

I hope you were able to get a hearing set if you have financials at ALL get them together .. my STBX's atty is infamous for what I call starving people out, delay, delay, delay I truly do not like this man and hope he sleeps on hot pokers every night .. lol .. yes I'm dealing with some anger when I have paid out 14k in my divorce. 10k is NOTHING when it comes to child support I'm assuming you have young kids. sorry I came late to the party .. lol. I would encourage you to use a support calculator and figure out what you would be entitled to via your state it will give a rough estimate. THEN you can decide if that's a good deal for you or not .. ask for the moon and figure out what you will get .. ask for him to pay your insurance, ask for him to pay 100% of medical for the kid/s. Think about what you need in terms of raising children because it doesn't sound like he's going to be present for long. Also DOCUMENT EVERYTHING with visitation I have a deal that goes 2 years back at this point I keep an on going ledger on my computer. Big hugs and it's hard to know what to do and while atty's are suppose to look out for you as a paying client they don't have to live with the end result. Big hugs again.