Hugs and welcome, I don't know what state you are in, I DO encourage you to document ALL of the missed visitation. Are you able to get supervised visits? Is there legal baring that can be proven without reasonable doubt in court for such a situation? My children are older .. however they were still given the right to decide if they see their dad or not and at this point they choose not to. I have sole custody something that I don't think my STBX understood when I got it. Are you open to attending DivorceCare? It really does help I just started going and it makes a difference for me in dealing with a couple of different situations going on. You need support not only here where it's easy to reach out at all hours however also real time .. hugs and it gets better!!