Its been two weeks and two days since my husband of 22 years (+5 dating) walked out on me and our 16 year old son.
I am still having trouble accepting the reality of it.
There wasn't any big event (affair etc) that seemed to bring this on he just seems to be having a true mid-life crisis.
Our 18 year old daughter went off to college and exactly a month later - he left too. He even said he wants to have a life like hers, filled with fun etc.
We have gone through some tough times in the past two years but we were in marriage counseling and I thought we were improving. I thought this fall we'd be going on dates for the first time in years, instead I am learning to clean the house, do the yardwork and raise a son alone.
What's worse is that with every passing day he gets angrier even though he is the one who left. I suspect its a defense mechanism - (if he's angry with me he doesn't have to look at himself). Despite all of this I just want to believe that someday he'll recognize what he walked away from - me and his son. Not so much that we'll get back together but that he has regrets.
So if you don't mind me asking did you exes ever apologize or say your break-up was a mistake?
Ann
Ann K: I went through the same thing (21 years of marriage and my ex left when our daughter was in college for almost a year). My ex never had any regrets and got a girlfriend just before the court date and someone found me 2 years later. My heart goes out to you because I went through a similar situation. I suggest you get a consultation with a Family Lawyer and some child support for your son ASAP and get your own bank account and credit cards so he doesn't start blowing money acting like the college kid he wants to be.
Divorce is never easy for anyone. It saddens me that he chose to leave you after that many years of marriage. My marriage has only lasted just over a year and is just now ending. I am glad it is ending sooner rather than later however it pains me that you have to go through this process after such a long committed relationship. Mine has blamed me for some things and I have blamed him for others. Don't let his anger and blame define who you are. Rather put the negativity behind you. It will be hard at first. But having hope and faith is what will get you through this. Be the parent you need to be for your son. Some day hopefully your spouse will realize what he has lost. Only time will tell. For now be strong and spend time with people who care about you. Surrounding yourself with friends and family can help make this difficult time more bearable.
Ann... You should never think that he will "come to his senses" and you should realize what are his shortcomings. It is obviously over. For myself, I desperately wanted my ex to acknowledge that there was a problem with this or that, but it never came. You have to claim the high ground, and know that you will NEVER get satisfaction from him. Lee