Lara -
thanks for your kind advice. You've been the only one to respond so that god you threw me a lifeline. I have already seen 1 lawyer and am going to the a "mean one" tomorrow. I think I've got a grasp on the child support & legal stuff. It's the emotional stuff I can't handle. My husband still acts like he has the right to come into the home whenever he wants even though he walked out. part of me wants to lock him out so that he can realize what he's done as soon as possible but I am also trying not to "poke the bear"
I don't know how this will play out but in any case I appreciate you being there. I do have plenty of friends that I talk to but I start to worry that I am wearing them out.
so thank you again.
Ann
I feel like I am doing the same Ann. It's hard to go through a divorce, let alone feel like you're a broken record. I feel like I am wearing my family and friends out too. But, at the same time if they love you enough they will be understanding. Each day it will get easier. I find myself talking about my divorce less and less. It still isn't official yet and having even minimal contact with my spouse is hard, it brings up feelings of sadness and possible regret, though deep down I know I am doing the right thing for myself. Take this time for yourself to heal. If you're worried about being the center of attention too often, then turn the tables and ask your friends and family about their lives, which I am sure you're already doing. So really, you may have nothing to worry about. There are also lots of self help books out there that can be rather beneficial and I have found that writing in a journal helps too. The journal never gets tired of hearing what you have to say because it can't talk back. I feel a sense of relief after I have written my thoughts down. Also stay busy by developing a hobby. Go for a walk, spend some time with your child, etc. There are lots of therapeutic things out there that can help you through this tough process. Emotionally it will be hard but each day you will get stronger. Also kudos to you for getting a lawyer. If you are worried about your spouse being at home talk to your lawyer about what should be done. If your husband has another place to stay and has removed all of his things he shouldn't be using the home as a laundromat.
I am going through the same thing. Trying to hold onto my sanity. Sometimes I feel like I will be ok and I will get through it, other times its a minute by minute thing where I want to scream and cry at the unfairness of it all.
I just wanted him to love me as I loved him. Simple, easy. We could work everything else out. But when one partner doesn't love the other there is no hope.
I am "no name" because I haven't told any of my friends or family yet even though I am six weeks into this. I know I will have to tell them sooner or later but some how saying it makes it irreversibly true.