Please do not follow the suggestion to involve your children any further in your divorce.

Children should never be involved in adult issues between their parents. That is what your ex is doing now and its the reason why your kids are struggling to have a relationship with you.

Please never stoop to that level. I have a deep disrespect for people who try to sway their children to their side by bashing the other parent or giving them their "perspective of reality."

Children...regardless of age...have zero business being involved in adult matters. They will eventually form their own conclusions and should not be influenced unduly by either parent.

I hope you can find a good lawyer and a good counselor without having to spend a ton of money on costs.