Clare: It makes me wonder if he has found someone else. I was married for 21 years and my ex left. In most States assets are split 50/50. Research on line the laws in your State. I got long term alimony until I got half of my Dad's Estate which is reinvested/managed so it won't run out because I had been a stay at home mom for half the marriage, was in my late 40s and was injured. My ex, also, wanted a lot (the house, the daughter (she was 18 and stayed with me and half of my money which was given to me by my family). He got none of that. He wanted me to leave the house and I had nowhere to go and had accused me of hoarding money which wasn't true while he had credit card debt of 20K/year for two years (he paid it all off since nearly all of the charges were his). He had the earning capacity to move on and was working. Do not listen to your husband and let your Lawyer do as much as he/she can. One Lawyer talks to the other Lawyer and they come to a divorce agreement. You do not have to talk to your husband about it - let the Lawyers do the talking. It's what I did mostly. I get my ex's social security after he passes. It makes me wonder why your husband is trying for it at all if he is making enough. You are in the early stages of a divorce which is the hardest time. Gather together your bills and cancel all joint credit cards and the joint checking account if you have them and get your own. Lawyers tell people to do this so the other won't charge excessively. We were under a court order not to run up a high credit card tab. My ex still used a joint line of credit and a joint dept. store card I didn't know we had after the divorce and it showed up on my credit report. I imagine you have high medical bills and your husband won't get much. The health, age and earning capacity of each spouse is taken into consideration. How old are the kids? In the State where I live in, the kids decide where they want to live at age 12. It's possible that he wants the kids so he doesn't have to pay child support. Sounds like he wants to leave without any financial responsibilities and collect money from you - truly disgusting. They call it the "justice system" for a reason so hopefully the Judge will see how unjust this is. Many people only talk to an ex spouse when it concerns the children. I advise you to do the same.