Katie: I was divorced in 2009 and received alimony for a few years until I got half of my Dad's Estate. I was also only working part time and have an injury (was in my late forties at the time). As far as the situation with you stopping drinking and she, has not, my boyfriend hangs out with a drinking crowd and they joke about me being a non drinker (he doesn't drink as much as they do). Congrats to you for stopping. Since you have one year to go to school, perhaps a school that trains you for a job would be the best option. She may have been a "drinking buddy" (someone who is only a friend when everyone is drinking) One year isn't enough for colleges unless you wanted to continue your studies at night while working during the day. If you are married and are planning on divorce, I would encourage you to cancel any joint credit cards you have and get your own and to close any joint bank account(s) you may have. A Lawyer would tell you to do this. I would also try and get a free consultation with a Lawyer and/or go on line and read about the divorce laws in your State.
Sounds like a couple things to me. First, she is "emotionally distant" and unable to empathize with you in your situation. And absolutely, losing a drinking partner puts her in a spot where you're no "fun" anymore, and she would rather be with people she has drinking in common with, as then she can continue to think you're the one who's no fun, and it's perfectly normal to get wasted for a good time. I have a friend who's like a sister to me, I thought, until I moved out of my marital home to live on my own. She also drinks alot and prefers to spend time in the bar then over with me at my boring home, not drinking. I quit being her drinking partner a year ago next month. I was very hurt just last month when she canceled a trip to NYC we were taking together, and then I found out she was going with a group of her drinking buddies. It hurt me terribly and I don't believe things will ever be the same. It hurts because isn't the divorce loss enough, does she have to choose now to be distant, and to be selfish in canceling this trip? I bet you're feeling the same about your friend that you thought had your back. I suggest you reconsider your choice of her as your good friend, and instead open the door to new relationships with healthy people who will be there for you. It won't happen overnight, but you will be one step closer after you take that first baby step.
Katie I am sorry you have to go through this tough time. Might be time to find some new friends. I haven't had to experience it the same way you have, but no matter how you look at it, divorce hurts. Even when it's over it still hurts. For now I would focus on yourself. If you want to further your education focus on that and working to save money. Good for you for not going out and drinking. See the world. Surely you will meet someone when the time is right. For now use this time to heal and to find yourself. Sometimes the only friend we have is ourselves, but you know yourself and what works best for you. Also don't be afraid to branch out and go out. Look up local groups. Sometimes there are local social groups where you can meet people. Look in your area for a singles' group. As for your friend, it's her loss. Don't let her negativity weigh you down. It's time to move forward.