Sharleen: I would not talk to him again. Let the Judge handle things. I just text my ex once every few years if something important happens. We have a grown daughter. We learned not to depend on him for anything. I got to stay in our home because he made so much more money than I do and I hope you can, also. I hope you have a job or can go back to work. Yes, it is a nerve wracking time, but when it's over, it will be worth it. Wait for the Judge to ask you questions. Best wishes.

Sharlene:

lol, You definitely should NOT rely on a judge to handle everything. That is very bad advice. It is your burden of proof to show the discrepancy in his income reporting if you dispute what's on his CRA returns. The judge won't care...he's only going to review the evidence that you present. You cannot just go into court and suggest his CRA returns are wrong...you actually have to prove it since you're the one making the accusation. Judges don't work on biased statements, you need documentation.

So if your stbx is self-employed, one thing you'll need to do to help prove his income amount. So to do that, you'll want to gather all receipts, checking account statements, and information about his assets. For instance, if he's driving around in a BMW making car/insurance payments and he's showing no income, that's not going to fly in front of a judge. You need to be able to PROVE with EVIDENCE what his estimated income actually is. Otherwise, you don't have a case.

People that I know that have been successful with this are ones that are able to show a certain amount of monthly expenses and can show debits/credits into the bank. If you're still in the house, quickly pull together any information he's left behind. If you still have joint accounts, pull the statements.

Generally I think mediation in cases like yours are a waste of time and money, so its probably a good thing that he turned it down. The chances of you reaching a collaborative solution are slim with the facts you've given.

Also, its not clear if you're working in your post so one thing you should be cognizant of is that he can also impute an income to you unless you have some proven medical condition that shows why you can't work. If you have any training or education or past work experience, you may get imputed at that level...otherwise, its generally full-time minimum wage.

If you don't have children, its hard to argue that you aren't able to earn any income at all. Unless, like I said, you have medical evidence of an illness which prevents you working.

You may also be eligible for SS depending on your circumstances but you have to prove why you need it. In your case, its not because of parenting responsibilities so it would be need based.

If you're self-repping, I'd still go consult a lawyer for at least an hour even if you can't retain them. They might be able to give you more information about how to prove income.

Also check similar cases on Canlii....they're easy to search and you'll be able to quickly get some ideas on how judges process evidence in these cases. Do all the reading you can on similar cases before your date next week.

Any email communications you have with your ex should be straightforward, fact based and polite. Keep all records of communicating with him because if his lack of communication causes you to incur financial damage it may be recoverable if you can prove it (not always but sometimes).

Good luck!

Normalwoman: The issue with the advice you gave is she said his earnings were CASH which cannot be traced. I hope Sharlene can find some evidence of his income on paper or in an account, but some people just live "off the grid" and their is no paper trail.

If you really want to get out of this terrible marriage, consider just giving up on trying to get any money from him.
Do you have equity in the condo?
You have access rights to it.
Consider going there, stripping it bare of anything valuable, and then signing it over to him.

Actually, that's not at all true.

Cash earnings certainly can be traced by showing monthly expenditures. It happens all the time with people earning commissions which they aren't declaring.

Canada has very clear laws with regard to imputation of income.

Like I said, I advised this poster to go to: canlii.org. She will find many, many cases to show how to prove self-employed income and how she might impute based on what he's spending...happens all the time.

The judge won't do anything. Judges work on evidence...its up to her to prove her case. You definitely cannot rely on a judge here.

Normalwoman: Ultimately the Judge reviews/decides/orders especially when there is very limited involvement of Lawyers due to lack of cooperation/lack of finances. I have already been through the process of divorce back in 2009, and, like it or not, children are involved in the divorce because they have to live with the fallout. My parents divorced when I was a teen and our daughter was a teen when her Dad left. I encouraged our daughter to enjoy her life and not get caught up with our stuff. My ex, however, informed her of what was in the divorce agreement, so, there is no guarantee of keeping the kids out of it. I was not told about the details of my parents divorce for 30 years and suffered financially because my Dad stopped both spousal and child support (back then things were different and especially cs support was not enforced). I was asked by my mom for money when I was ages 19 to 21 and provided for her. She still, to this day, refuses to tell me where the money went. A friend of mine went through the same thing because of an absent parent.

Judges make orders based on evidence not hearsay. This poster would have to be able to show that he is misreporting income.

Its very incorrect and bad advice to tell a poster to do nothing and let a judge take care of it. They can't...they don't have any conflicting evidence aside from what he's declared to CRA.

She needs to collect evidence and give it to her lawyer to compile. Once that's done and she has a case conference, she can then file a motion to have the evidence reviewed. Ultimately, when you are disputing reported income and asking for a variation, you need to compute an imputation amount based on what he's actually spending. And people have successfully done this...but it takes proving and you need documentation to do so.

If she leaves it to a judge, she'll get nothing more than what he's reported.

I highly recommend this OP to start finding every piece of financial documentation she can. Also document what he drives, where he lives, etc. And do some canlii research. The cases similar to yours will show you what you need to do to get his true income imputed to him.