Chris: I recommend getting a free consultation with a Lawyer and visiting your local women's services center (they may have free legal services there or can advise you on what to do). You can also call the Bar Association in your area to see if they can give you free legal advice. If you do not already have a job an are able to work and have no small children to take care of, I would recommend getting one. Maybe you could find work someplace from a place where they are hiring people for the holidays so you can get back on your feet and open your own private bank account to pay for legal fees. Read about the divorce laws in MI on this web site and others and learn all you can on your own. In most States assets are split 50/50.
I love in New York, so I can't vouch for the laws in Michigan. But my husband had control of all the money also and everything was only in his name. He had plenty of money and I had nothing, when I came to the decision that this marriage of emotional abuse, disrespect, lying and sneaking had to end. So that is when I began saving. I got a part time job and saved, saved, saved.
I went to 8 free consulations, with lawyers. I would write down three questions, and go see a lawyer that advertised free consulation. Sometimes the meeting was only 15 or 20 minutes long, but I got those three questions answered. Then I would write down 3 more questions and go to another lawyer for free consulation. I did that 8 times until I had some facts. I began searching the house and found any document pertaining to money, annunities, and savings and a photcopy them all. I copied the mortgage, house deed, title on cars. By the time I picked a lawyer, I was ready and at least had a down payment.
Now it didn't matter that everything was in my exhusband's name, because all assets, anything bought, during your married years, gets split 50/50. So I did end up with money. The house, well that either had to be sold, and split, or I had to buy his half out. I was lucky, I have an amazing brother, who gave me the money to buy him out. I realize that this was a miracle that many don't have.
Think smart with one goal in mind, to get as much as you are entitled to financially. And look for a job...keep those eyes opened and see what is around. At first I just got a part time job...while the divorce proceedings were going on, ...once the financial matters was settled, I went full time.
I didn't have children with this man, thank God, so if you do have children, that is another story that maybe someone else can help you with.
Research the Michigan laws. Every state varies. Also find an attorney. You need someone to represent you who knows the law. There are some successful divorces which are pro se (no counsel), but it is better to have someone to represent you and back you up. Lawyers are paid to know the law. I have one right now handling my divorce and he is great. There are also attorneys who will work for free. Call the local State Bar and also call your legal aid office. Also think before you file for divorce. Have you tried counseling?? Think about this long and hard and think about how your life would be without him in it. Would it be worse, or would it be better? I had to think about a lot of things before I filed. You want to make sure that this is something you really want to do. Some people think they want something but then change their minds. This is a tough decision. Just make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Either way you deserve to be happy.