thanks lara. i'm meeting with a lawyer on Monday and will post the results just in case someone else needs that info. you mentioned something about your ex's social security when he dies. You can collect his social security when you turn 60 it will be i believe at 71%, at 62 it is 81% and if you wait longer it goes up more. check with the Social Security Dept. He doesn't even need to know you are collecting it. It has no bearing on what he is collecting.