I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I know exactly how you feel because it happened to me too. Plz dnt think you look dumb because I was in your shoe. We have to make mistakes to learn from them. I'm glad you're a Christian. My advice to you is to get down on your knees and pray to our Heavenly Father. I know he has better plans for you, you just have to be patient. You're going to need a lot of support from family and friends. Try to keep busy join a gym, zumba, work, or pick a new hobby and get out of the house to take your mind off of him. Start going to church if you havent already. I almost committed suicide because I didnt have anyone to turn to for support. I felt alone like no one knew the pain I was going through. Felt so lonely. Well anyways I got over if by keeping busy. I hope that helps. I hope you find someone that will treat you like a queen.

Well fast forward to now and he filed for divorce but not final yet. I tried everything even getting him to go to counseling and he will not do it. He has no girlfriend and is living with his parents. He recently told me he stopped loving me about 1 year ago and it is so hurtful because he would always go out of his way to prove his fake "love" for me, sending flowers, writing poems, etc. He told me he has so much anger built up in him about me. I feel like I have been living a lie which basically I was. The pain is unbearable these days but I am starting to go to counseling on Monday and I have been going to church even before all of this and I am going to a DivorceCare which helps. I pray every single day multiple times. I just don't know how to stop loving him. I mean after everything he has put me through and I still love him so much! It is insane. What sucks is we still have to exchange the kids and it hurts to even see him! I have a long road ahead and I know it is a process but I am so ready to be over this nightmare. I just don't know how I will ever trust anyone again. Thanks for all of your advice and support!!