Well fast forward to now and he filed for divorce but not final yet. I tried everything even getting him to go to counseling and he will not do it. He has no girlfriend and is living with his parents. He recently told me he stopped loving me about 1 year ago and it is so hurtful because he would always go out of his way to prove his fake "love" for me, sending flowers, writing poems, etc. He told me he has so much anger built up in him about me. I feel like I have been living a lie which basically I was. The pain is unbearable these days but I am starting to go to counseling on Monday and I have been going to church even before all of this and I am going to a DivorceCare which helps. I pray every single day multiple times. I just don't know how to stop loving him. I mean after everything he has put me through and I still love him so much! It is insane. What sucks is we still have to exchange the kids and it hurts to even see him! I have a long road ahead and I know it is a process but I am so ready to be over this nightmare. I just don't know how I will ever trust anyone again. Thanks for all of your advice and support!!