First off: I hope you are saving all of the text messages where he is saying he is going to kill himself. You can certainly use them against him (proof of mental stability) if he every tries to fight you for custody/visitation. Secondly if you have no court ordered visitation set up you have every right to stop him from taking them if you feel it is not in their best interest. Granted I believe that kids should have both parents in their life's but if they are inflecting physical or emotional abuse they need to have limited access to the kids. Is there anyway you can get proof of the things the kids are telling you have happened? Someone you know and trust that was at the wedding and saw what happened. Anyone at the theater that saw what he did? Or any witnesses to anything else?