Val,
I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I was blindsided also. It started out with my ex going out more often and then shopping for different kinds of clothes and then commenting in his friend who was recently divorced all of the time. Months went by and he stayed out later and later. At that point we were married for 25 years (we got married at 21 years old). I thought he was going through a mid life crisis and would eventually stop. Things got worst. He stayed out all night one night and I knew we were in trouble. My ex never argued with me, he just started living a separate life from me. I didn't know what to do. I finally realized the man I had know since we were both 16 years old was committing adultery. It tore me apart. I asked for a divorce and my ex responded with "a you going to make me pay alimony and take my pension". Never did he say "we can work this out". Val, I was totally blindsided. It's been over a year since my divorce and I am learning to live on my own and building my self esteem. I never thought I would ever be divorced but I am. I am happier than I ever was before.

Brandi: My ex stayed out from the start of the marriage later going to strip clubs and Hooters. We were married for 21 years. I am divorced now and happier with someone else who does his best to put the time in with me.

So, did you make him pay alimony and take his pension?

Yes I went through the same thing. This past Tuesday my husband left me and my son I wish I could tell you what to do but I do know how it feels and when you're not alone just hang in there

Yup. He acted sweet and caring and then was gone one day. no contact. Just things moved out and and a note for me. Never heard from him again. I am emotionally ruined. He acted normal all while plotting behind my back to leave. He always acted very caring to me.